closet!
It's the regular table!
Wait a minute...
...regular chair.
How rich are you?
All I can tell you is...
...I wish I had a dime
for every dime I have.
The service here is terrible.
Where the hell's my drink?
- We just ordered!
- That's always their excuse.
Engine room,
where the hell's my drink?!
Are you married?
There's only one woman for me.
And I can't stand her.
Her name is Susan.
I can't tell you her last name.
It would be indiscreet.
Johnson.
Susan Johnson.
My father wants me to marry her...
...but I'm not going to!
You're the only woman at this table.
Sure, you bring her a bottle,
me you bring a glass.
Fine. Thank you very much.
Aren't waiters wonderful?
You ask them for things,
and they bring them.
Same principle as Santa Claus.
Tell me about yourself.
You mean, why I'm a hooker?
Are you a hooker?
Jesus, I forgot!
I thought I was
doing great with you.
Why are you a hooker?
My mother died when I was six.
Son of a bitch!
Don't they know
what they do to kids?!
My father raped me when I was 12.
So you had six
relatively good years.
I'm sorry.
Listen, my father screwed me too.
Do you like me?
You're cute.
I know that!
But do you like me?
Well, Princess,
we're going to have fun!
Tonight is New Year's Eve!
Third time this week!
Here's to you!
Noisy!
Hello, darling.
Good morning.
Did you sleep well?
- Fine.
- Good.
Please stop that!
Hobson how good to see you!
- Thank you so much.
- Not at all.
I've taken the liberty of
anticipating your condition...
...and I've brought you orange juice,
coffee and aspirins.
Or do you need to throw up?
Gloria, I would like you
to meet Hobson.
My best friend in the world.
I relish the compliment.
It is thrilling to meet you, Gloria.
You obviously have a wonderful
economy with words, Gloria.
I look forward to your next
syllable with great eagerness.
As we all can see,
it's a lovely day.
Which would seem to indicate
that the night is over.
I have arranged breakfast
for you on the east patio.
This is a robe.
Please put it on.
Say goodbye to her, Arthur.
Do you know what
I'm going to do?
No, I don't.
I'm going to take a bath.
I'll alert the media.
Do you want to
run my bath for me?
It's what I live for.
Perhaps you'd like me to
wash your dick for you...
...you little shit.
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Hobson, this is Arthur.
Yes! How delightful
to hear from you.
How about a pitcher of martinis?
No, thank you.
I'm not going
to face my father sober.
If you don't bring them
I'll have someone else do it!
I'll bring them.
- Say goodbye.
- Goodbye.
He treats me like a kid.
You know, Arthur...
...your father is going
to demand that you marry Susan.
I don't care what he demands.
Stay with me a minute, Hobson.
You know I hate to be alone.
Yes. Bathing is a lonely business.
Except for fish.
I beg your pardon?
Did you say "except for fish"?
Fish all bathe together.
Although they do tend
to eat one another.
I often think...
...fish must get
awfully tired of seafood.
What are your thoughts, Hobson?
Pardon me...
I don't want you to be alone.
I'll never be alone.
I have you.
Isn't life wonderful, Hobson?
Yes, Arthur, it is.
Do your armpits.
A hot bath is wonderful!
Girls are wonderful!
Imagine how wonderful
a girl who bathes would be!
Get dressed!
I hate it here.
Of course you hate it.
People work here.
Here, read this magazine.
There are many pictures.
Look how nobody ever smiles here.
Why doesn't anybody ever smile here?
They smile at lunchtime.
Lower your voice, Arthur.
And sit up.
Stop being so nervous.
Later on, we'll get ice cream.
Your father will see you now.
Come on, Hobson.
He wants to see you alone.
He gets all that money.
Pays his family back
by being a stinking drunk.
It's enough to make you sick.
I really wouldn't know, sir.
I'm just a servant.