THIS. - GREAT. THANKS A LOT FOR THE RIDE, LES. YEAH, NO PROBLEM. ( growls ) HOW COULD YOU DO IT, LES? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT? I DON'T BELIEVE IT. I MEAN... NOT ONLY DID YOU BREAK YOUR EXPLICIT PROMISE TO ME, BUT YOU USED UP YOUR LAST FAVOR. I SUPPOSE YOU KNOW WHERE THIS LEAVES YOU, DON'T YOU? - NOT IN GOOD SHAPE? - THAT'S RIGHT. LOOK, DAD, JUST LET ME EXPLAIN IT TO YOU, OKAY? SHE TOLD ME SHE LIVED THREE HOUSES DOWN. I THOUGHT I WAS TAKING HER HOME. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER THE TRUTH? TELL MERCEDES LANE THE TRUTH, - THAT LES ANDERSON DOESN'T HAVE A LICENSE? - YES. AND RISK HER HAVING A HEART ATTACK FROM LAUGHING SO HARD AT ME? Mr. Anderson: HER? HER HAVING A HEART ATTACK? LOOK, DAD, PLEASE PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES. LOOK, YOU'RE UPSETTING YOUR MOTHER. SHE'S PREGNANT, YOU KNOW? Dean: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET CAUGHT DRIVING WITHOUT A LICENSE? THEY MAKE YOU WAIT TWO YEARS BEFORE YOU CAN TAKE THE TEST AGAIN. THAT'S 24 MONTHS. THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF BUS RIDES. RELAX, DEANO. I DIDN'T GET CAUGHT. AND YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE EXACT SAME THING THAT I DID. NOW, DID YOU GUYS COME OVER HERE TO ASK ME SOME QUESTIONS, OR WHAT? ALL RIGHT, HERE'S ONE: "HOW CAN YOU IDENTIFY A BLIND PEDESTRIAN TO WHOM YOU MUST YIELD THE RIGHT OF WAY?" THIS IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU JUST MOVED HERE FROM BEDROCK OR SOMETHING. YOU'VE BEEN A PASSENGER IN A CAR ALL YOUR LIFE. -( classical music plays ) - AND WHAT IS THIS SHIT? NATALIE! HEY, NATALIE, I WAS WONDERING, IF YOU'RE DRIVING 55 MILES PER HOUR AND YOU COLLIDE WITH A RUNAWAY TRAIN, WOULD IT MAKE ANYIMPROVEMENTS ON YOUR FACE? - ( Dean laughs ) - ( burps ) GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAM TOMORROW, EINSTEIN! GOOD AFTERNOON, CHILDREN! IN THE NEXT 20 MINUTES, YOU WILL BE GIVEN 30 QUESTIONS. ANYTHING OVER FIVE MISTAKES WILL BE CONSIDERED A FAILING GRADE. WE'LL BEGIN AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL. -( bell rings ) - BEGIN. Recording: Welcome to the Department of Motor Vehicles driver's test. Press start to begin. Question one: What should you do if you miss your exit from an expressway? A: Jam on the breaks and back up; B: Make a quick U-turn. C: Go on to the next one. Correct. - HA! -Question two: Which is usually the smoothest lane of traffic? WHY DON'T THEY JUST GIVE LICENSES AWAY? -Incorrect. - WHAT? Question three: You must look for bicycle riders in the same lanes used by motor vehicles, because they... A: Must ride facing oncoming traffic; B: Are entitled to share the road with you; C: Always have the right of way. Incorrect. When driving through fog or rain, it is advisable... ( overlapping questions ) ...C: Stop. Incorrect. Warning, one more wrong and you fail! FINISHED! Question 26. At 55 miles per hour you come upon a large puddle of water. Do you A: Pump the brakes; B: Gently ease your foot off the gas pedal; C: Accelerate? Incorrect. You have failed! - DAMN! - Student: OH MAN! - Student Ј2: WHAT HAPPENED? -I LOST MY SCREEN. SOMEONE PULL THE PLUG OR SOMETHING? MR. ANDERSON. MR. ANDERSON! MR. ANDERSON. OH, MR. ANDERSON. YOU CAN THANK YOUR SISTER FOR THIS ONE. - I CAN? - UH-HUH. DUE TO A COMPUTER MALFUNCTION, WE ARE UNABLE TO SEARCH THE SYSTEM'S MEMORY FOR YOUR TEST RESULTS. HOWEVER, SINCE YOUR SISTER RECEIVED A PERFECT SCORE, WE ARE GOING TO PASS YOU AND ALLOW YOU TO TAKE YOUR ROAD TEST. I MEAN, HOW DIFFERENT CAN YOU AND YOUR TWIN SISTER ACTUALLY BE? ( laughs ) - WHAT ABOUT ME? - WAIT A MINUTE, STAND BACK. DON'T CROWD ME. I'M A LIVING TIME BOMB - OKAY. - HI. LAST NAME FIRST, FIRST NAME LAST. ANDERSON. LES ANDERSON. BUCKLE UP, SON! IT'S THE REAL WORLD OUT HERE! ANDERSON? I WANT YOU TO TAKE A LONG, HARD LOOK AT THIS CUP OF COFFEE. I LOVE MY COFFEE. IT'S PROBABLY THE ONE THING I TRULY CHERISH ON THIS GODFORSAKEN MUDBALL CALLED EARTH. WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT MOST EXAMINERS USE A CLIPBOARD. I DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM. WHAT ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Язык нежности на английском - текст Дон жуан Де Марко на английском - текст Мой научный проект на английском - текст Доказательство смерти на английском - текст Кин-Дза-Дза на английском |