make it
any less bizarre.
What's bizarre?
We're all pretty bizarre.
Some of us are better at hiding it.
How are you bizarre?
He can't think for himself.
She's right.
Know what I did to get in here?
I taped Larry Lester's
buns together.
That was you?
You know him?
Yeah, I know him.
Then you know how hairy he is.
When they pulled the tape off...
most of his hair
and some skin came too.
Oh, my god.
And the bizarre thing is...
that I did it for my old man.
I tortured this poor kid...
because I wanted him
to think I was cool.
He was always going off about...
you know, when he was in school...
all the wild things
he used to do.
I got the feeling
he was disappointed...
that I never cut loose
on anyone, right?
So I'm sitting in the locker room...
and I'm taping up my knee...
and Larry's undressing...
a couple of lockers down from me.
And he's kind of--
He's kind of skinny, weak.
I started thinking
about my father...
and his attitude
about weakness.
The next thing I knew...
I jumped on top of him
and started wailing on him.
My friends just laughed
and cheered me on.
And afterwards...
when I was sitting
in Vernon's office...
all I could think about...
was Larry's father...
and Larry having to go home...
and explain what happened to him.
And the humiliation...
the fucking humiliation
he must have felt.
It must have been unreal.
How do you apologize
for something like that?
There's no way.
It's all because
of me and my old man.
god, I fucking hate him.
He's like this--
He's like this mindless machine
I can't relate to anymore.
"Andrew!
You've got to be number one!
I won't tolerate
any losers in this family.
Your intensity
is for shit!
Win! Win! Win!"
You son of a bitch.
You know, sometimes,
I wish my knee would give.
Then I wouldn't be able
to wrestle anymore.
Then he could forget all about me.
I think your old man and mine
should get together and go bowling.
Like with my grades...
Iike when l-- when l--
Iike when I step outside
of myself, you know?
And I see me...
I don't like what I see.
I really don't.
What's wrong with you?
Why don't you like yourself?
Sounds stupid, but...
because I'm failing shop.
We had this assignment,
you know...
to make this ceramic elephant.
And, um...
we're supposed to--
It was like a lamp.
When you pull the trunk,
the light goes on.
My light didn't go on.
I got an "F" on it.
I've never got an "F" in my life.
When I signed up for the course...
I thought I was playing it smart.
I thought, "I'll take shop.
It'll be such an easy way...
to maintain
my grade point average."
Why'd you think it'd be easy?
Have you seen
some of the dopes that take shop?
I take shop.
You must be a fucking idiot.
Because I can't make a lamp?
No, you're a genius
because you can't make a lamp.
- What do you know about trigonometry?
- I could care less about it.
Without trigonometry,
there'd be no engineering.
- Without lamps, there'd be no light.
- So neither of you is better--
I can write with my toes.
I can also eat, brush my teeth--
- With your feet?
- Play the piano.
- I can make spaghetti.
- What can you do?
I can, uh,
tape all your buns together.
- I want to see what Claire can do.
- I can't do anything.
Everybody can do something.
There's one thing I can do.
Forget it.
It's way too embarrassing.
Ever seen "Wild Kingdom"?
He's been on for 30 years.
Okay.
You have to swear to god
you won't laugh.
Okay.
I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.
That's great!
Where'd you learn to do that?
Camp, seventh grade.
That was great, Claire.
My image of you
is totally blown.
You're a shit.
Don't do that to her.
- You swore to god you wouldn't laugh.
- Am I laughing?
You fucking prick!
What do you care what I think?
I don't even count, right?
I could disappear forever
and it wouldn't make any difference.
I may as well not even exist
at this school. Remember?
And, you,
don't like me