number,
just in case.
But if Chandler's in an accident
and can't perform sexually...
...he'd want you to take a lover to
satisfy needs he'd no longer fulfill.
Can I just tell you something?
I'm very flattered, but I'm engaged.
This is kind of embarrassing.
I actually came over
to talk to your friend.
You should be embarrassed.
- I thought you knew I looked at you.
- I did, but that was really fun.
"The winner is... Joey Tribbiani! "
"I honestly never expected this.
I didn't prepare a speech.
I'd like to thank my parents,
who've always been there for me.
Also like to thank my friends,
Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel..."
- I'm fourth?
- Jeez!
Look at you with your
maple syrup award!
Maybe you don't tell anyone
about this?
No big deal.
I do that with my shampoo bottle.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- What award are you practicing for?
- Grammy.
For Best New Artist.
The Soapies people called today.
I also get to present an award.
So you'll get on stage
even if you don't win.
- You don't think I'll win?
- Of course I do.
But Favorite Returning Character?
That's a tough category.
You're up against the guy who
survived his own cremation.
No, I know I might not win.
But it's just... .
I've never been nominated.
I want it so much.
You'll probably get it.
But you should start practicing
your "gracious-loser" face.
When the cameras are on you,
you want to look disappointed.
But also that your colleague
deserved to win. Like:
You know?
- You practice losing the Grammys too?
- No, at the Grammys, I always win.
- Hey!
- How'd your date go with Jake?
Great. We couldn't keep
our eyes off each other.
Every once in a while, he'd lean over,
stroke my hair, then touch my neck.
Stop it. You're getting me
all tingly.
All I could think of was,
is he gonna kiss me?
- Did he?
- I'm a lady. I don't kiss and tell.
But this hickey speaks for itself.
Okay, I got it. I got it.
I like him so much, I feel like
I've had 10 drinks today.
I've only had six.
I haven't had that feeling since
I first went out with Chandler.
- I'll never have that feeling again.
- You sound like a guy.
No, a guy would say, "I'll never
get to sleep with anyone else. "
I'll never sleep with anyone else!
I'm so busy planning the wedding,
I forgot about what I'll give up.
I'll never have a first kiss again.
You'll have a last kiss.
Can I ask you something? Has
a guy ever had a crush on you?
Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?
A kid in my class said
he's in love with me.
Whoa!
- Whoa, what?
- Ross has a boyfriend!
I do not have a boyfriend.
There's a guy in one of my classes
who has a crush on me.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Last year, Elizabeth, now this kid... .
What is it?
Am I giving out some kind of...
...sexy-professor vibe?
Not right now.
The point is, my natural charisma has
made him fail his midterm.
Now I feel bad for the kid.
I had a crush on a teacher once,
and it was so hard.
I couldn't concentrate.
I blushed every time he looked at me.
You remember what it's like
to be 19 and in love.
- I can cut him some slack.
- Yeah.
- How'd you get over that teacher?
- I didn't. I got under him.
Problem solved.
- Bye, Phoebe.
- Okay, bye.
- All right. Bye.
- Bye.
We said goodbye at the door
so as not to flaunt our new love.
It's okay.
You don't have to tiptoe around me.
I've thought about it.
You know what?
I'm okay, not having that
new-relationship feeling.
- I miss you already!
- I miss you too!
That's great, but I wouldn't
trade what I have for that.
I'll be with Chandler the rest
of my life. That makes me happy.
Come sit down. We're talking
about how our relationship's deep...
...and meaningful.
It is, don't you think?
Oh, totally.
Pull my finger.
- Favorite Returning Male...
- This is my category!
- Got your speech?
- Got my speech.
Got your gracious-loser face?
Try to remember, if you win,
you have to hug me.
Can I squeeze your ass?
On TV?
Yeah!
In the