me
somewhere in the shade.
Or some high-ranking officer
might break our meditation.
We settled under the plane...
...which our maharaja bought
earlier in the morning.
Pisa got something to drink.
Kazakov cheered up
and began to teach the Indians.
Everything passes,
except for the Army!
For the Army!
We drank for the Army.
'Cos doubt and uncertainty
is the cause of any disease.
And there's no such thing
in the army.
You've got your orders!
A perfect setup -
hands are working, head is free.
For the officers!
We drank for the officers.
Suppose a man tries to
figure out who's more important...
... he - or some other serviceman.
No such doubts in the army.
Just look at the shoulder-straps
and no need to worry!
For seniority!
We drank for seniority
and then vodka ran out...
...because we drank from helmet.
Another 20 a person
or no more teaching!
This financial problem was
easily solved by maharaja.
Get the fuel and try to buy
glass beads on the way!
We must give him some present.
Pisa was sent several times until
some entered the state of trance.
Kazakov fell asleep in the barrel.
So we transported him back the
same way and released on the spot.
A month later sergeant Lavrov
ran shouting to our barracks.
Shit!
Lost your eyes, sergeant?
The blacks are rushing
the gates, major!
What blacks?
Rushing the gates!
What?!
At the gates, major!
What do you want, comrades?
To kiss the legs of Nickola Baba!
8 days on camels, 6 hours
on the bus, 1 1 hours on the plane.
Such a fright for just this moment!
Give us the moment of truth!
What Nickola?
Nickola Baba!
A.k.a. ensign Kazakov!
The Guru!
Get Kazakov!
On the double!
Sir!
What did you tell the Papuans,
you fucking prick?!
How do I know?
See for yourself!
Baba! Baba!
All should be done
according to regulations.
Or you'll get no promotion!
Now we can die in peace!
That's the deal.
I don't know how to react.
Must report to the general!
Our commander
major-general Talalaev...
...wondered what was
the meaning of this noise.
What's the matter, orderly?
Comrade major-general!
There's a serious possibility
for us to become planters!
Only what do the regulations say?
What planters?
We could grow tobacco.
These comrades
consider Kazakov their god.
They will do anything for him!
Don't blaspheme!
Aren't you ashamed to fool
the foreigners, Trunk?
Why me?
I didn't ask them to call me Baba
- their most senior wise man.
They promised to write a book
and show me on TV.
How could they mistake you
for a wise man?
Didn't they look at your
shoulder straps?
lmpossible.
I was sitting in the barrel.
And so he recounted
to the general...
... how circumstances forced him
into an empty fuel barrel.
And in order to save his honor
he became an army yogi.
If ensign is a Baba,
then his senior officer is a Dada!
That's religion for you!
We must conduct a mobile
conference on the subject of...
Deputy! Deputy!
Ideological integration
of possible strategic allies!
That's it!
So...
Follow me!
Cripples and psychos -
to the sick bay!
They wouldn't fit in!
Cripples - to sick quarters,
psychos - to prison!
Sir!
On your legs, ensign!
Get the "fuel", major!
Five liters, not less,
and a piece of lard!
Sir!
This mess-hall would be
a conference-hall!
Cover all he tables!
Sir!
Karnauchova!
Take a towel,
a loaf of bred, salt...
...and organize reception
in the best national traditions!
And get some perfume!
You smell of shoe polish.
Where's the damn barrel?
I used it for potato storage.
What potatoes?!
Get the barrel and put it up
on something!
Sir!
You, Diogenes!
Your post is in the barrel!
We'll be on command post!
Move it!
Dear pilgrims,
feel yourselves quite at home!
Nickola Baba will give you
a lecture on spirituality.
You will be even allowed
to take notes.
And while he's preparing,
I'll try to make you comfortable.
So that's how we got ourselves
an international