this is
that 10th case.
Is it ?
No.
What have you done ?
Remember that night
last week,
When you told me
to rig the ratings.
I never told you
to rig to ratings.
You didn't tell me
not to.
You rigged
the ratings ?
Actually, i hastened
the inevitable.
"Polka jamboree"
was ready to explode.
And you lit
the fuse.
I called a few people
and asked them to watch.
A few ?
Could you
ask him ?
How many people
did you call ?
A thousand --
Give or take
a thousand.
And you say i use
the phone too much.
Don't worry.I did it
during off-Peak hours --
2 to 6 am.
And nothing outside the
48 contiguous states.
How considerate.
It's my way of saying
i know we're on a budget.
A thousand phone calls.
Give or take a thousand.
Even 2000 people wouldn't
increase the ratings that much.
Aha !
Unless they were each
given a number,
And logged into
the rating system.
How did you get the
figures into their system ?
Aha !
I hooked the ratings box to the
transmission on my spaceship.
Then i shifted into
"sideways."
I'm ready to talk
about the phone
calls, now.
Aha !We're
passed that point.
Aha !
No we're not !
Aha.
What you did
was illegal.
Like i've been to law school,
and would know that.
What you did
was wrong.
Do you
understand
"wrong"?
The opposite
of right --
Wrong !
Wrong.
Alf, you bad, bad, jerk.
You loveable, huggable,
adorable jerk.
But bad, nonetheless.
Mr. Cosby
on line 1.
Hi, bill.
How are you ?
Great episode last week
when theo lost his comb.
I never, ever thought
he'd find it.
The ratings ?
Talk about a shock, huh ?
Well, we knew we couldn't
be #1 forever, right ?
By the way, can you
play the accordion ?
Sorry, just a thought.
You bet i'm gonna get
to the bottom of this.
And, bill, thanks
for the jello.
[ Buzz ]
Yes, sir ?
Send out a memo.
I want to develop
3 new shows --
"Polka train,"
"The days and nights
of molly polka,"
And something with
maclean stevenson.
Right away.
What are you doing ?
We'll work
quietly.
Does this go ?
Does it have
a peacock
on it ?
Yeah.
Leave it.
How about the
name plate on
the door ?
Take it.
Wait a minute.
This is the guy
Who turned down
"polka jamboree."
That's why we're
moving him out.
How about the lamp ?
No, his new office
is too small.
Excuse me.You have
calls waiting from ...
"60 minutes,"
"the national enquirer,"
And some guy
named alf.
I'll call them back
when i get a new extension.
If i get a new extension.
This alf guy says he's
responsible for the ratings.
What line ?
2.
Oh, it was very nice
working for you, sir.
Hello ?
Are you the guy
in charge ?
Uh ...
Talk fast.
This whole thing
is my fault.
What ?
I didn't want "polka
jamboree" cancelled,
So i called 1000 people,
Give or take
a thousand,
Then hooked up my
transmission to the tv box,
And shifted into
"sideways."
This is the "letterman
show," isn't it ?
No, it's alf.
Listen, as long as
you're on the phone,
Can i pitch
a wacky idea ?
Why not ?
Ordinary family,
living a normal, boring,
suburban existence, right ?
Yeah.
Suddenly, from out
of nowhere,
This spaceship crashes
into their garage, see ?
Spaceship ?
Yeah, and this loveable,
huggable, adorable alien
comes out.
Not in a million years.
It's too far-Fetched.
Who chose you as the
typical american family ?
Computer
error.
Had to be.
Where does
he get off ...
Saying we're not a
typical american family ?
Have you looked in
a mirror, lately ?
Think of me as the
son you never had.
Well, son,
At least we don't
have to worry ...
About "polka jamboree"
being #1 anymore.
Shows how much you know.
Enlighten me.
Now !
I started a letter-Writing
campaign to save the show.
Incidentally, next time
you're at the post office,
Pick me up 150
million stamps.
Call number 462 --
12 minutes to west
springfield, mass.
Guilty.
Call number 463 --
7 minutes to
lansing, michigan.
Mea