kite,
all the way to the terminal.
It's Alla, coming
from the night club.
Her's is an interesting life too.
She met a producer.
So, she goes to night clubs now.
Youth is slipping away.
And who knows when I'll get rich.
And maybe I'll never get rich.
A man should provide a beautiful
woman with a beautiful life.
This way there is less fighting in
the mornings. My, long good byes...
Alla is beautiful.
Are you jealous?
In a way. He looks like he's
been around the block.
He is gotta be 35, no less.
He promised her a job
as an anchor on television.
- Cool. And..?
- She doesn't believe him so far.
- What about you?
- I don't believe him either.
- But - what can I do.
- Does that guy know about you?
Of course not, he walks her as far
as the doors only.
She tells him her parents are very
strict. It's suspiciously quiet!
Gotta show'em how the strict
parents welcome her back...
Where have you been, you whore?
Been treated to them lobsters?
Don't come near her, honey:
she got AIDS, that dirty junkie!
You are such a bastard, Postnikov.
- If I am, then what are you?
- Oh, quit it, Igor.
Now you, I am always glad to see.
Be quiet, he is still here.
She's been downing
Martini's all night long again!
Stop it, it's not funny.
Seal, don't repeat
my mistakes.
Find yourself a hunchback,
with sagging breasts
and a harelip.
Platoon! Rise and shine!
Order of dress - number two!
Seal! Get up and fall in!
Do you hear my command!
Here is the severity
of the Army life for you.
As ensign Lobusov used to say:
the daylight hours start
with the reveille signal .
...Mildly cold in the North-West
of the country.
1 0-12. Gusts of wind.
A cyclone approaching
from the west...
You should not get
so disheartened.
I didn't like
my first time, either.
The second time I liked better.
Just like I always said.
Women have women's brains
That granted, a women should never
get involved in men's issues.
The most important thing is to
be dressed accordingly.
Imagine yourself in a company
of a bunch of drunk dudes
wearing some pathetic rags.
- Can you see it?
- Yes. And?
- You shouldn't stand out.
- And what if they jump me?
Alla's 300 rubles should
do you fine.
And I am going to give it to you!
Seal! Look at this woman:
bad as she is, she is the
best I've encountered so far.
Postnikov, you're not hopeless.
...Pressure differential
brought about atmosphere
tides towards the East.
Whatcha looking at?
Just standing there thinking.
What's there to think about?
- Where is my proctoscope?
- One moment...
Align the formation!
One, two, three!
Straight leg!
Left foot!
Fall out!
Conscript! Halt!
You see, the point is...
I changed my mind. I will
explain everything to you.
Oh yeah, but first you're still
gonna have to get a hair-crop.
No,
it's some misunderstanding.
I climbed the fence.
I'm too young for this.
Cross my heart. I will never do
this again. I'm gonna go now.
We picked him off the fence.
Let go of me!
I'll call the police!
Please, let me go,
it hurts.
I'm gonna stick my proctoscope
up your asses.
And if even one of you creeps
asks me if I see
any deferment in there- I'll make
sure it's painful for all present.
I call your name from the list
you come up, your mouth shut.
Sorry, I changed my mind.
I'm not in the mood.
He has arrhythmia.
Should I take his cardiogram?
Please, let us not rush things.
I got so angry
my hands are still trembling...
Also I...
- Come here.
- Me?
Why are you taking me
to the juvenile centre?
We were instructed to
bring the deserters there.
This can't be. One has to be
of age to be drafted.
It's not written on your mug
how old are you.
Where are your friends and
what are their plans?
They're home.
They've no plans, they only
have sex on their minds.
Sex is no obstacle
to crimes.
Don't worry, you'll stay
here for 30 days at most.
- 30 days! For what?
- For nothing.
First we'll send a letter
of