2007Dovzhenko Film Studios (Kiev) presents
"CHASING TWO HARES"
based on a play by M.Staritsky
Written and directed by Victor Ivanov
Director of photography Vadim Ilienko
Starring
O.Borisov as Svirid
M.Krinitsina as Pronia
N.Yakovchenko as Father
A.Kushnirenko as Mother
N.Koperzhinka as Sekleta
N.Naum as Galia
A.Yurchenko as Stepan
K.Yershov as Bottlehead
T.Litvinenko as Khimka
O.Vikland as M-le Ninon
This trifle of a story happened
not very long ago -
at the beginning of XX century,
in Tanner Street of Kiev.
So let us make a trip to the past.
Let the old recall what they might,
and let the young get it right.
The road to Tanners' goes
across a market
Exactly where the hero
of our story,
Svirid Petrovich Golokhvosty,
is heading together with his friends.
[song]
"High above my head a bird is singing"
"Flying to and fro, as does its kind"
"There's no reason why
we shouldn't go drinking"
"Having fun is all we have in mind"
"Our lovely misses
taste like candies"
"Our whole life like marmelade"
"Play me, my guitar,
some merry fancies"
"Fitting for our little
street parade"
"Mommy is a golden-hearted woman"
"Daddy is a merchant, quite well-off"
"Their only son is posh like no one"
"Having everything I can dream of"
[sign]
"Night shelter"
[ads] "Swiss tobaccoes"
"McCormick American company"
"Dutch cheese"
[ads] "English concession"
"French corsets"
[ad] "Horse-collars.
Mr. Bitch and Son, Kiev"
Here are other characters
of the story:
Sekleta Lemerikha, an apple-seller
and not a least character in the plot.
Her helper, her daughter Galia.
And this is Stepan.
Here's Martha, a friend of Sekleta's,
an unsurpassed master of bagels.
The godmother of Galia's, Ustia,
a faithful servant to folk medicine.
Nun Mironia is also
a friend of Sekleta's.
And here's Mr. and Mrs. Serkov
[a twisted dog name]
They are Sekleta's kin and
parents of our female hero.
Their daughter, Pronia,
is now at finishing school.
Before going there, we'll meet
our hero once again.
He's in the middle
of his business day.
And this stout officer's going
to lead us right into the school.
[the soldiers sing a classic
Russian marching song]
[sign]
"School of noble manners.
M-me Ninon from Bordeaux."
Here's our Pronia at last.
One, two, three, four.
This is the way to greet your Pa.
This is how you bow to bosses
who are high above your husband.
A husband you're yet to get.
If a man is under you,
greet him like this.
And feel free with your chambermaid,
to make her afraid of you.
Phimka, here! Phimka, there!
[disparaging Euphemia]
Phimka, shut up! Phimka, get out!
[parrot] Bubbleheads!
One, two, three!
Now you go delicately
to your dance partner.
Curtsy.
Curtsy.
Curtsy.
- Oaf!
- You are!
- This is our daughter's voice.
- Voice?
- Frog-pecker!
- And you're a frog!
- Viper!
- Pest!
Bitch, bitch!
Here you are!
- What's going on?
- Pick it up!
Quick! Oaf!
- Drive, let's go!
- Frog-pecker!
Have it!
- What, finished?
- Finished!
How come? I've paid for one year,
you should've sat the money out!
Not enough for ya that our baby's been
tortured by studies for three months?
- Be silent.
- Shut up, please!
The Serkovs are taking their
precious Pronia from the school.
And this Pronia goes with 10,000
of Serkov's roubles. Wow!
- Center of gravity of a shape of a body...
- Whose body?
Center of gravity of a shape of a body...
A shape of a body...
You will need this no longer,
anyway.
Funny, sir!
Listen here, Golokhvosty.
[the surname means Naked-Tail]
Golokhvastov, that's my name.
[now it means Vain-Boaster]
- The passport says Golokhvosty.
- Pardonnez, the passport mistakes.
Silence and attention! For your
debts, for your unpaid bills
your shop goes sealed up, and
your property goes distrained.
You're rogue! You come not
this bill to pay!
You come 'give again'! Give money!
[heavy German accent]
- U-uh, Schweinerei!
- What, please?
Rascal!