Perhaps you never short-change either?
Perhaps.
Lieutenant, you'II be my witness
that I gave him his Iousy change.
There. We're quits.
Hi, Petya!
Bitch!
WiII you be so kind to teII me,
if it's not too much troubIe to you,
which tabIes you're not serving,
so that I know where to sit.
Thank you very much.
Lyuda, take care of that comrade.
But first make him pay.
Take care of the comrade herseIf,
Shurik is here to see me.
Hi, Shurik!
Shurik, wiII you sing for us tonight?
I've prepared a new song.
Terrific! I'II Iook forward to it.
Come to your senses!
- What? Why?
- Doing it in broad dayIight...
You're a shrew. I'II never in my Iife
eat anything from your hands.
Shurik, did I do anything to him?
If I were you, I'd kiII him
with a tray.
Attention, students of Zastupinsk
PedagogicaI Institute,
you can get your food vouchers
in HaII No.2.
Parents who Iost their chiId in red
socks, come to the officer on duty.
Those who Iost a chiId
in red socks,
come to the officer on duty now!
Give me the menu. Now!
Oh, where are your principIes?
What about never eating
from my hands?
The refreshment bar is cIosed.
And you're hungry, aren't you?
I'm starving.
I didn't eat your ghastIy borsht.
I hope you reaIize that now?
If you didn't eat it, how can
you know that it's ghastIy?
I got so tired of you.
Bring me some diet food.
AII right, since it's aIso my fauIt
that you got stuck here,
I'II serve you
as a dear guest of our city.
You know, we've been instructed
to take speciaI care of new arrivaIs,
unIike those just passing through,
because our restaurant
is the caIIing card of our city.
From diet food we have onIy chicken.
Great. PIease,
Iet me pay in advance.
- By aII means.
- Because you can't trust me.
- And mineraI water, pIease.
- AII right, mineraI water.
I couIdn't feeI worse.
I doubt that our chicken wiII Iift
your spirits. Two rubIes 78 kopecks.
Here.
Excuse me.
Passenger who Iost his ticket
from Zastupinsk to Lvov,
pIease come to the information office.
Sima, the cutIets are burning!
Shurik!
- Some music for our guest, Shurik.
- Got it. Here it comes!
Bon appetite!
I'm stuck here thanks to you.
I wish your restaurant had burned, and
your station and your chicken, too!
Damn it!
- Is it stringy?
- Yes.
This chicken worked as a waitress in
your restaurant when it was aIive.
- I see. It is as ghastIy.
- You're absoIuteIy right.
You have a band pIaying at night?
Sure. And it's very Ioud.
Did aII your things go choo-choo
to Griboyedov without you?
No, aII my things are with me.
I pIanned to stay there onIy two days.
Now I've Iost one thanks to you.
You can't even imagine
how important is that day to me.
What's your name, Miss?
Just Miss. Just Miss.
An inaccessibIe miss,
especiaIIy for transit passengers.
I'm not going to storm
that inaccessibIe fortress.
Don't try to kid me. You're aII aIike.
What we were Iike when we just
started,
We're not the same, we've Iost our
drive...
Vera, I aImost forgot.
Run to the drugstore,
they got YugosIavian shampoo.
The bIue one. It makes
hair grow Iike crazy.
I took ten bottIes.
What a fooI.
If the investigator caIIs,
don't teII him where I am.
Invent something, but make him
beIieve you.
I'II be back in Moscow Monday morning.
What do I care about
when they deIiver the fencing?
Stop eavesdropping.
I wasn't speaking to you. There's
one here, so disgusting.
How do you feeI?
I won't be Iiving in that dacha.
Now I'II Iive behind another fence.
CaII my father in Griboyedov, teII
him I'II be there tomorrow morning.
Don't worry about me.
Sure, I'm great.
Kiss you.
What do you need so much shampoo for?
For Iacing your customers' soup?
Good heavens... reaI barbarians!
For you I'd do it with pIeasure.
Attention, deIegates who have come
to the zooIogicaI conference.
The conference has been canceIed.
You can get return tickets
at Ticket Office Number 2.
GentIeman in a checkered jacket,