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maybe, but not me."
"Oh, no. You got the wrong...
How about my mother, man?"
"She's old. I'm weaned. I'm toilet-trained."
"I don't need her anymore. Bye, Ma.
You've been terrific. I love ya! But not me."
Oh, Jesus, don't take me out now.
What's the matter?
Don't you like musical comedy?
- Bargaining.
- Finished, or do you wanna run it again?
Yes, I'd like to run it again.
I'd like to run the whole thing again.
"Look, man. Come here, come here."
"Can we sit down and talk
about this like businessmen?"
"A negotiation, OK?"
"Look, I don't wanna haggle.
You'll find me a reasonable man, man."
"The blonde, the one on East 63rd Street
I see on Tuesday nights?"
"Gone. Finished. I'll never
see her again. That's it."
"Right, no more hard drugs.
A little grass, maybe, but that's it. OK?"
"All right, look, man, I promise
I won't flash on subways anymore, OK?"
"We got a deal, huh? Huh?
Guy drives a hard bargain."
What are you staring at? I told you guys
before: Too much smoking,
too much boozing, too much
screwing around, it'll get you every time.
I'll be back.
Well, goddammit, find him.
I want him back in ICU, and right now!
- Damn fools.
- Depression.
And here he is, ladies and germs,
Tops'n'Taps,
- Oh, my God!
- Tap-dancer extraordinaire.
- If I were God...
- I'm dying!
- And sometimes I think I am...
- Oh, God, am I dying!
- Depends on how much morphine I've had...
- I'm dying. Nobody's dying but me.
- I would spare this terrific tap-dancer!
- The doctor's not dying.
He's alive in Florida, and I'm dying!
No pennies on the eyes for me.
Please.
Right away, sir. Bye.
- Come on, we better try to find this guy.
- "Oh, God!"
"I'm dying!"
"I'm paying $240 a day for the hospital room!"
"At those prices, man,
who can afford to live?"
So... acceptance.
Oh, God...
I think you're the most
beautiful thing in the world.
I love you.
Just a cut on the head.
Oh, man, I won't have any trouble
at all keepin' him here.
He just wants to sit around
and sing old-time songs.
Oh, don't hurry, baby.
I'm havin' a pretty good time myself.
- Now, Mr Gideon, where were we?
- How do you know my name?
Just found out. They're comin'
to get you, you know?
I knew they would.
- Can I have another?
- Oh, help yourself.
Could you do it one more time? Just for me?
Oh, yeah, I'd love to.
Five, six, seven, eight.
# Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
# And smile, smile, smile
# Hey, pack up your troubles
in your old kit bag
# Smile, boys, that's the style
Here we go.
# What's the use of worrying?
# It never was worthwhile
Juicy!
# So, pack up your troubles...
- You got it.
- Five, six, seven, eight.
# Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
# And smile, smile, smile
OK, mister, you come along with us.
Nice and quiet, now. Don't cause no trouble.
- Everything's going to be fine, all right?
- All right. So long, Tiger.
Later, Gideon.
This is just a rough cut, you know?
I don't have the titles in yet,
and the underscoring's not in.
It's not really finished.
I need more time.
Thank you. Wonderful, wonderful.
Folks, what can I tell you
about my next guest?
This cat allowed himself
to be adored, but not loved.
And his success in show business
was matched by failure
in his personal-relationship bag.
Now that's where he really bombed.
And he came to believe that work,
show business, love, his whole life,
even himself, and all thatjazz, was bullshit.
He became numero uno game player,
to the point where he didn't know
where the games ended and reality began.
Like, to this cat, the only reality...
is death, man.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me lay
on you a so-so entertainer,
not much of a humanitarian,
and this cat was never nobody's friend.
In his final appearance on the great stage
of life - you can applaud if you wanna -
Mr Joe Gideon.
# Bye-bye, life
# Bye-bye, happiness
# Hello, loneliness
# I think I'm gonna die
# I think I'm gonna die
# Bye-
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