me. That's you.
Okay, floozy patrol
on the beach in a half-hour.
Be there or be square.
I think I'm just gonna
hang around here
and kind of straighten things out
a little bit.
Yeah, there's only one thing
I wanna get straightened out.
Come on, Ashman,
we're all going.
- Hi.
- Greetings. I saw you guys move in.
I thought you might
like a little help.
I don't think so, but thanks.
What about your cars?
You want me to detail them for you?
Chicks around here,
they really like 'em looking good.
Okay, great, go ahead.
Detail 'em.
All right.
What's detailed?
I don't know,
but chicks love it.
( girls speaking indistinctly )
- Hey, great car.
- Really!
It belong to your old man?
You kidding?
This is my car.
- You wish. You wish.
- You wish.
No shit.
It's my house too, right here.
- Oh, right.
- Really?
And I'm Miss America.
No, I swear to God.
I inherited it.
Both: Really?
My folks were anthropologists.
About a year ago they got killed
on a field trip to New Guinea.
- Oh, God, that--
- Really?
They got ambushed
by headhunters.
You mean like...
( mimics cutting )
- Yeah.
- Girls: Eww!
Yeah, it messed me up
real bad for a while.
Yeah, ever since I haven't been able
to have any kind of sexual relations.
No sex.
Giving head doesn't sound like
very much fun anymore.
Liar!
Well...
maybe we can help you out.
# No one ever done me #
# Done me like she does #
# I gotta have some
of your love #
# Losin' it... #
- ( bell rings )
- Hi.
Hi.
( vocalizes )
( bell rings )
I like ringing your bell.
Most guys do.
Right on.
I just rented
the hippest house on the beach.
I got some bitchen cars, too.
You wanna party?
What do you have in mind?
Whatever turns you on--
a little wine,
Jacuz-arooski,
sex.
How much are you gonna pay me?
You're kidding.
( laughs )
I don't pay for sex.
And I don't fuck fossils for free.
# Ooh, sweet little girl #
# I can't get enough of you #
# Ooh, sweet little girl #
# I can't get enough of you #
# Mmm! Little girl #
# I can't get enough #
# Oh! #
Jogging's fun, isn't it?
Especially alone.
I usually jog 10 miles
in the morning,
10 at night.
You must be in great shape.
I'm a marathon runner.
World class.
You wanna race to the pier?
Okay.
You wanna bet on it?
Sure. What do you wanna bet?
If you beat me, eat me.
# Ooh, yeah! Ooh, yeah! #
# Ooh, yeah!
Ooh, yeah! #
# Ooh, yeah! Ooh, yeah! #
# Ooh, yeah!
Ooh, yeah! #
# Ooh, yeah! Ooh, yeah! #
# Ooh, yeah!
Ooh, yeah! #
# Ooh, yeah! Ooh, yeah! #
# Ooh, yeah!
Ooh, yeah! #
- ( wheezes )
- You all right?
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Just trying to give you
a little lead. A little--
# East, west,
coast to coast #
# Tearing it up
in a weekend bar #
# Smile for the camera, boy... #
Boys, the pond was dry
or I'm using
the wrong kind of bait.
Yeah, I landed
a tight little blonde.
Had to throw her back.
She was jailbait.
Good.
No jailbait.
- Agreed?
- Both: Agreed.
- How old was she?
- 15.
15? I have underwear
15 years old.
- ( car approaching )
- Hey, wait a minute.
That sounds like my car.
That was so much fun!
Oh, God, we gotta do it again.
Yes, when are we gonna
go up in your plane, huh?
I don't know. Maybe next week.
I should have my Lear jet by then.
That was so much fun. I was so scared
when you were going around.
- Shh.
- When you get a chance,
we'd like to have a word
with you, please.
I'll see you guys.
I gotta run.
No, one more ride.
- My neighbor needs some advice.
When Scotty Palmer talks...
- Girls: Bullshit walks!
- Okay.
- God, Scotty.
- Bye, Scotty.
Hey, listen, guys,
about the car.
I just took it for a little spin
to blow off the water spots.
- Of course.
- And the girls,
they were there
to buff the upholstery, right?
You know that thing
is like a magnet
for hardbodies.
Hardbodies?
What's a hardbody?
Hardbodies. You know,
the little foxes down on the beach.
Scotty, you mind if I ask you
a personal