it? #
# You just can't live without him #
# Maria #
# When will you #
# Be by his side? #
# By his side? #
# Maria, when will you #
# Be satisfied?
Be satisfied? #
# Maria, when will you #
# Be by his side? #
# By his side? #
# Maria #
# When will you be satisfied? #
# Be satisfied? #
# Maria #
# When will you #
# Be by his side? #
# By his side? #
# Maria... #
Thank you.
Thank you. All right.
We'd like to dedicate
this next number
to our new manager,
Mr. Party himself--
Scotty Palmer!
All right, man, right on!
I didn't know
you manage bands.
Stick around, baby.
Surprise is my middle name.
What's the name?
The band, what's the name?
Diaper Rash.
That sucks. Change the name,
call me tomorrow. We'll have lunch.
# Be with you #
- # They want to be with me #
- # They want to be with you #
# They want to be with me #
- # They want to be with you #
- # They want to be with me... #
- Howdy.
- Howdy.
I'm Carlton Ashby.
Cool name. I'm Michelle.
Michelle, what do you do?
Well, that all depends
on who I'm with.
No, I mean
what kind of work do you do?
I teach aerobics.
How about you, Carlton?
Fertilizer's my game.
I own a manure factory in Texas.
- You mean like--
- Cow shit.
100% grade "A"
finger-licking good pasture patties
to sprinkle on your rose bushes.
I love it. Mom always used
to warn me about bullshit artists,
but she never told me how
to handle a cowshit king.
Speaking of good shit--
- I can't believe it.
- Oh, my dress.
It's ruined.
It'll never come out.
You know what?
If you soak that right away,
- there's a chance.
- But I'll have to take it off.
- Ricki--
- Nicki.
Nicki, of course.
Look, the bathroom's right over there.
Okay, thanks.
Listen, Nicki,
I am really sorry, okay?
I feel like such a klutz.
I can't believe it.
We were talking
and someone pushed me.
I don't even know
how it happened.
That's okay.
You've been really sweet.
Robert E Lee.
Ma'am?
You remind me
of Robert E Lee.
I like to nickname my men
before I fuck them.
Just like that?
Whatever became of romance?
Why, Ashby darling,
you want romance?
Read a novel.
You want me?
I'm upstairs.
Party time! Ba-ba!
You creep!
You totally lied to me.
Hold on a second.
Hey, what did I do?
You said there would be
modeling agents here.
Gee, no, you must have got here
right after they left.
Bullshit!
That was just a line.
No, it's true, really.
Look, I got an idea.
Why don't we go upstairs
and take some pictures?
Then I could send them to the agents.
They're all my good friends.
- Yeah.
- Oh, really?
- Really.
- No, really.
Come on, let's go.
Modeling agents? Scotty.
How about just right over there
by the bed? That'll be good.
I'm not taking my clothes off.
No no no. Just a face shot.
I know what I'm doing.
The lens cap is on.
- Huh?
- The lens cap.
Hey, what's going on in here?
Taking pictures
for a modeling agency.
Yeah? Will you take a few of me?
Sure. The more the merrier.
Hey, is this the modeling agency
that's taking pictures?
- Mm-hmm.
- Can I join?
Mm-hmm.
Come on,
take some more of me.
- Over here!
- Me!
So how's that
photographer doing?
Great. He's already
taken a hundred pictures.
- He hasn't reloaded once.
- Really?
Ooh, great picture.
I've got a great body, too.
That's nothing.
My body is better.
# Computer madness #
# Yeah yeah! #
# He's got the body #
# Yeah yeah! #
# Computer madness #
# He'll pull the plug #
# Computer madness #
# He'll pull the plug #
# Computer madness #
# Computer
madness #
# Computer madness #
# Computer
madness... #
- Hey, Kristi.
- That's disgusting.
I can't believe you could
stand there and watch.
And you really think
it's funny, don't you?
Kristi, nobody's getting hurt.
It's just a yuck.
And what's that?
Another yuck?
It must be something
chemical when you turn 30.
Well, I don't think it's funny.
I think all these guys are jerks,
and I don't want to be around