- Listen, girls...
- He's such a scuzz.
...we got a serious
morale problem.
You know, my brave buddy Rag, he's
not feeling very good about himself.
- He's just being realistic, Scott.
- Oh, be realistic, Kimber.
Fuck your friend, okay?
You are so cute!
I love your bod.
Did you see that?
Those two great-looking girls
with that ugly guy?
This could be
my kind of beach.
Rounder, did I tell you,
man, huh?
Come on, the most beautiful girls
in the world are right here.
When you're right, you're right.
Am I right?
I don't know how I let you
perverts talk me into this.
Ashman, come on,
what kind of attitude is that?
You're not wussing out
on us, are you?
No, Hunter, it's just all these nubiles
make me feel like an old fucker.
- You are an old fucker.
- So are you. So am I. So what?
Look, we spent years getting our
businesses to run the way we want 'em
so we could come and do this.
This is the perfect time to do this.
Yeah, well, I've seen more
than one old bull blow out his balls
and his brains
at the same time.
That's definitely giving it
your best shot.
Let's go!
Gentlemen, I know
you'll love this place.
We call this our divorcee special.
Hey, baby, hey hey.
Good thing our ex-wives
didn't get here first.
Four bedrooms--
one with a waterbed
and three
with extra firm mattresses.
That's a real comfort to me,
suffering as I do
from a herniated lower lumbar.
Really?
How'd that happen?
What's Ash suffering from?
- A bent wanger.
- Bent wanger? Bummer.
Well, dip my skinny.
Is this great?
I can't wait to see Barnes'
and the guys from the club's faces
when they see this.
Hey, Hunter, we agreed, man--
no business cronies.
This thing's strictly for pleasure.
You're right.
- We'll take it.
- Great.
Let's go sign the lease.
Party party party party!
# When I'm on the beach #
# Where I belong, yeah! #
Hunter:
Nuh-uh-uh. That one.
With the tongue?
Trust me. That's you.
Okay, floozy patrol
on the beach in a half-hour.
Be there or be square.
I think I'm just gonna
hang around here
and kind of straighten things out
a little bit.
Yeah, there's only one thing
I wanna get straightened out.
Come on, Ashman,
we're all going.
- Hi.
- Greetings. I saw you guys move in.
I thought you might
like a little help.
I don't think so, but thanks.
What about your cars?
You want me to detail them for you?
Chicks around here,
they really like 'em looking good.
Okay, great, go ahead.
Detail 'em.
All right.
What's detailed?
I don't know,
but chicks love it.
- Hey, great car.
- Really!
It belong to your old man?
You kidding?
This is my car.
- You wish. You wish.
- You wish.
No shit.
It's my house too, right here.
- Oh, right.
- Really?
And I'm Miss America.
No, I swear to God.
I inherited it.
Both: Really?
My folks were anthropologists.
About a year ago they got killed
on a field trip to New Guinea.
- Oh, God, that--
- Really?
They got ambushed
by headhunters.
You mean like...
- Yeah.
- Girls: Eww!
Yeah, it messed me up
real bad for a while.
Yeah, ever since I haven't been able
to have any kind of sexual relations.
No sex.
Giving head doesn't sound like
very much fun anymore.
Liar!
Well...
maybe we can help you out.
# No one ever done me #
# Done me like she does #
# I gotta have some
of your love #
# Losin' it... #
Hi.
Hi.
I like ringing your bell.
Most guys do.
Right on.
I just rented
the hippest house on the beach.
I got some bitchen cars, too.
You wanna party?
What do you have in mind?
Whatever turns you on--
a little wine,
Jacuz-arooski,
sex.
How much are you gonna pay me?
You're kidding.
I don't pay for sex.
And I don't fuck fossils for free.
# Ooh, sweet little girl #
# I can't get enough of you #
# Ooh, sweet little girl #
# I can't get enough of you #
# Mmm! Little girl #
# I can't get enough #
# Oh! #
Jogging's fun, isn't it?
Especially alone.
I usually jog 10 miles
in the morning,
10 at