Lillian Russell in As You Like It.
-Yeah, well, I don't think I'd like it.
What are you going to Europe for,
another strongman?
Oh, no, no. Just a little vacation.
-London?
-Well, Monte Carlo first.
You're gonna lose all the money
you made on Sandow, huh?
-No, I'm going to double it.
-Oh, yes.
What are you going for,
another Little Egypt?
Oh, no, just a rest. Of course, if I see
any exceptional talent, I'll pick it up.
Well, naturally. So will I.
Oh, you got anybody in mind?
No, no. Why, have you?
No, no.
Only the greatest artist
in Europe, that's all.
Say, who's that?
If I told you, you'd cross me
before we crossed the ocean.
Beg pardon, sir.
Miss Carlisle wishes to know whether
there will be three for tea or just two.
Just two. Yes, just two.
-Miss Carlisle, huh?
-Yes, sir.
Oh, thank you.
You're....
-You're Mr. Billings' man, are you?
-Yes, sir.
Well, you're very efficient.
-What is your name?
-Sidney, sir.
Sidney. How much does
Mr. Billings pay you, Sidney?
One hundred a month, sir.
Only-- Well, that's not very much, is it?
I hadn't thought of it, sir.
Well, think of it, Sidney.
London Evening News.
London Evening News.
Oh, take care of the luggage, will you?
And tip the doorman, Sidney.
Yes, sir.
You have a reservation
for Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.?
-Yes, sir. Will you register, please?
-Surely.
Is Mr. Billings still here?
-Yes, sir, on your floor.
-Oh, yes.
Boy. Rooms 325 and 26.
Thank you.
Sidney. Well, you ingrate, you deserter--
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
Well, why didn't you tell me
you were dissatisfied? I--
-You pirate.
-Now wait a minute, Jack.
Gentlemen don't quarrel
over gentlemen's gentlemen.
-Oh, you--
-Let me tell you the whole story.
If you're still angry,
Sidney can go back with you.
-Oh, I--
-Look, Jack, it was this way.
I've always envied you.
Your dress, your style, the way you look.
So that when I saw your valet,
and I realized...
...that it was he who took
such magnificent care of you...
...well, I just couldn't resist the temptation
of hiring him for myself.
You mean, you wanted to look like me?
Well, that's right, Jack.
I wanted to look just like you.
You faker.
What are you doing here? I thought you
weren't going to be in London for weeks.
Well, that's a long story.
You know, I was going to break
the bank at Monte Carlo.
Yes, I know.
But the bank broke you, huh?
-What did you lose?
-Fifty-thousand dollars.
-What have you got left?
-Fifty cents.
Fifty cents. Well, I'll see you later.
But, Jack, wait a minute.
Lend me 5000, will you?
Well, would you--?
Would you make it 2500?
If I gave you $2500, by the time you
tipped six bellboys, you'd be broke again.
Look, Jack, I really need it.
I'll tell you what.
I'll give you $500 if you'll catch
the next boat back to New York.
There's one leaving in the morning.
Fair enough?
It's fair, but not enough.
Will you sail with me?
Oh, no, Mr. Ziegfeld,
I have business in London.
Oh, haven't you got
the world's greatest artist yet?
No, not yet, but I will have.
Who is it, Jack?
Go on, you can tell me now. I'm broke.
I won't tell you till I have
her name on the dotted line.
It's a her, is it?
Yes, and a beautiful her too,
and she's signing the contract tonight.
-Goodbye, Mr. Ziegfeld.
-Goodbye, Mr. Billings.
I say, doorman,
did Mr. Billings come out?
Just this moment drove away.
I've got a very important message for him.
-Do you know where he went?
-Palace music hall.
-Is it a good show?
-Not so much, sir.
Except for the French actress.
She's truly wonderful.
She has eyes this big, sir.
Every time she blinks them at you,
you jolly well blink yourself, sir.
-Have you seen Anna Held, sir?
-No, no, I haven't, but I will tonight.
Thank you, sir.
I say, sir, do you realize you gave me Ј5?
Yes, I'm trying to lose weight.
Isn't it magnificent?
For me, Marie?
From whom?
Whoever gathered all the orchids
in the world just for me?
I