I ju- It's too-
I was won- uh-
Fir-First I was try-
Nothing Forget it. It's all right.
Just, uh, tell me the
- tell me the other story about Harry.
You know.
George, what is it?
You're still doing it.
It's obscene!
What is?
When I touched you just now,
I started to get excited.
What kind
of a pervert am I?
Staring at a 200-pound pregnant
woman, and I'm getting hot.
Well, I'll
tell you something.
That is about the nicest thing
anybody's said to me in months.
It's not funny, Doris.
I really got to ya,
huh, fella?
Uh, would you
excuse me?
That's incredible! Are you
as good as I think you are?
How good do you think I am? Sensational.
I'm not as good
as you think I am.
But that piano's been sitting here for
10 years, and you've hardly touched it.
Why tonight?
It beats a cold shower.
You mean, you play
to relieve sexual tension?
You don't even get this good
without a lot of practice.
You're gonna be exhausted. That's the idea.
I've got a better idea.
Come on.
Doris
- Come on. It's all right. It'll be okay.
But-
But you can't-
Well, I know that.
Well, then how-
Well, we can work something out, can't we?
Oh.
What- What is it?
Aah For God's sake, what is it?
Doris, what the hell
is the matter?
If memory serves me correctly,
I just had a labor pain.
You can't have. It must be
indigestion. No. There's a difference.
Indigestion doesn't
make your eyes bug out.
You can't be in labor.
When- When's the baby due?
Not for another month, but-
Oh! Oh, my God! What have I done?
What have you done? I brought
this on with my selfishness.
Oh, don't be ridiculous. You
had nothing to do with it.
Doris, don't treat me like a child.
Will you stop getting excited?
Excited? I thought I had
problems with my sex life before.
Can you imagine what this is gonna
do to it? Just- Will you just-
Ohh. Oh,
I think I'd better lie down.
What kind of a man am I? What kind
of a man would do a thing like this?
May I say something? Doris, I
appreciate what you’re trying to do,
but nothing you can say
would make me feel any better.
I'm not trying to make you feel
any better. I'm gonna have a baby.
I know that.
No. I mean now.
I have a history
of short labor.
Oh, no no, no, no!
No, no, no, no!
Oh, no no!
How do you feel?
Like I'm gonna
have a baby.
-Maybe it's a false alarm. It's a false alarm. That's all.
-No. No.
No. Now, just get a hold of yourself,
honey, and get on the phone...
and find out
where the nearest hospital is.
Hospital?
You wanna go to a hospital?
George,
like it or not,
I am going
to have a baby!
But we're not married.
That's going to look odd.
Will you get
on the phone, please,
and find out
where the hospital is!
- Well, where are you going?
- To the bathroom!
Why?
It's hard to explain.
Hello. Mr. Chalmers,
this is George.
Uh, where's
the nearest hospital?
Uh, well, it's- it's my wife.
Something unexpected came up.
She got pregnant, and now
she's gonna have the baby.
That far?
All right. Look. Get him on
the phone right away, will ya?
Doris, are you
all right?
Doris? Doris,
answer me!
I'm busy!
Oh, Jesus!
Hello? Yes, yes!
Uh, hello. Uh... hello.
Um, I'm here at the Sea Shadows
Inn just outside of Mendocino.
I was in my room before, and I heard
this groaning from the next room.
And, um, well,
I knock on the door,
and I found this lady- who I've
never seen before in my life-
uh, in labor.
Do you have to know that?
George Peters. So
- George Peters. Peters.
I don't know. I didn't time them.
Three or four minutes apart, I guess.
I don't know.
All right.
Uh- Uh, hold on.
Doris? Doris,
who's your doctor?
Joseph Harrington.
Uh, Joseph Harrington.
In Oakland.
In, uh- in Oakland.
534-0711.
534-0711.
Um- Yes, uh, I-I have a car. I'd
be glad to take her over there.
Sure. Uh, could you
- could you just answer one question?
Would
- Would erotic contact in the last stages of pregnancy...
bring on