dance?
Give me a break.
- Is this yours?
- No.
My fault.
It was her,
in her underwear.
There had to be a reason
why I was seeing her again.
Whoa!
Hey, wait a minute.
I don't want to do this all day long.
I cannot work like this!
You're married.
The ring.
Yeah, I am.
- It's OK. I'm married, too.
- Really?
I was too young.
He was too young.
- I got married young, too.
- Really?
- Are you still in love with her?
- Yes.
- Yes. Absolutely.
- Absolutely?
If you're still in love with her,
how come you're here with me?
- It's OK. You're nervous.
- Nervous? I'm not nervous.
Oh, come on.
Hey!
- Why do you think I'm nervous?
- Because you don't know what you want.
You're home late.
- You scared me.
- I'm sorry. Did you eat?
- I got something down town.
- I went back to the doctor today.
- Everything OK?
- My tests are all in.
- Yeah?
- It's not me. I'm fine.
- What does that mean?
- It means I'm OK.
Obviously not,
if you can't get pregnant.
- I can get pregnant.
- Then why aren't you pregnant?
Because you
can't get me pregnant.
- You believe that?
- It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Who's ashamed?
My mother said
my father was the same.
Your mother?
You told your mother about this?
Did anybody not hear about it?
Was it on the news?
Let's invite your parents over and put
some chairs at the end of the bed.
A little home instruction.
- Get your butt a little higher, Jake.
- Russ, he knows what he's doing.
If he knew what he was doing,
we'd be grandparents by now.
I'm sure he'd have pointers for me.
You told your mother? Jesus!
- It could be a very simple problem.
- What problem? There is no problem.
Compared to what I had to go through,
your test is easy.
What's the big deal?
- Would you like to have to do that?
- I'd help.
Very funny.
Well, I'm sorry, babe.
If you're fine and I'm not,
there's nothing I can do.
- I'm sorry. I feel bad, but...
- Problems can be treated.
Surgery? That's exactly
where I'd like to have surgery.
I'd like men poking around
with scalpels at my groin.
No, no, no.
Nobody is touching my balls.
Maybe this is not really
the place to discuss this.
- Why are you being a baby?
- I'm not.
You are.
You know how many men do this?
Whatever number minus one.
I'm not doing it.
I knew you'd be a baby, so I called
Dr Stanky and asked what's involved.
You called Dr Stanky?
- OK, what's involved?
- A couple of minutes and a plastic cup.
It's all very discreet
and professional.
- Hi, can I help you?
- Yeah, yeah. Jefferson Briggs.
Well, I have my sp...
my... my...
- My...
- Sample?
Yeah, sample.
Yeah.
- There you go. OK.
- Thank you.
I'm sorry.
Are you sure there's any in here?
My inability to impregnate Kristy
was blamed on tight shorts,
something to do
with my body temperature.
It seemed rather flimsy. To go
through the hell of a fertility check
and discover that my undergarment
preference was to blame
seemed as silly and pointless
as everything else about my life.
Jake!
Jakey! My temperature's just right.
It's the perfect time. Where are you?
Can you hurry?
Hiding from my wife,
hiding from my manly obligation,
our love nest
had become a stud farm.
Jakey, my temperature's just right.
Where are you? Hurry, hurry!
Jefferson Edward Briggs!
Hi, babe.
Were you working
on the water heater?
Sorry, but it's 48 hours
since our last coition, I'm ovulating,
I have the pillows set up
so that my cervix is placed better
in the intervaginal seminal pool.
You can watch TV if you get bored.
Here's to successful fertilisation,
sweetie!
My father died.
Come on in.
Oh, Davis,
I feel so bad about what's happened.
I don't know what to say. I've never
had anyone close to me die.
- You can tell me anything.
- We miss you. How's that?
We?
- Jake and I.
- Jake and who?
- Me.
- You miss me?
- Yeah.
- Why?
Why? Because we've
been friends for years.
- Is that all?
-