Sex.
Oh.
It's like that movie Alien.
Everybody told me how good it was.
And then I saw it,
and it was much better than
anything I've ever thought it would be.
And I watched that movie four times,
and each time
you get something different from it.
You see something
that you didn't notice before.
I used to like movies.
Now, everything is just mud.
All right, look here.
I know you're not gonna believe this,
all right,
and I know you're hurting,
but this experience
is gonna transmute itself.
It is.
You do something like this
and it tears you apart,
but eventually it becomes
one of your fondest memories.
I remember my first trip
into the realm of the senses.
It was in Wheeling, West Virginia.
Trailer park near the sump.
I was seven years old,
but I, uh,
knew as much about life
at that moment as I'd ever know.
Well, they're late.
Let's go home.
Hey, here comes Maurice now.
Looks like a good day to die.
Where is the son of a bitch?
He's not here, Maurice, so that's that.
No duel.
Dobre utra, everybody!
Oh, you came, Maurice.
No, no, don't cry over me, my lovelies.
I lived, I loved.
I'm at peace with the worid.
I have sung my song.
I saw the sun rise over Machu Picchu,
and the sun set over Acropolis.
Cut the chitchat, Nikolai.
Let's get on with it.
All right.
Anytime anyone wants
to intervene here, feel free.
Don't let me get in your way.
I didn't cheat, Maurice.
That's entirely possible.
You are apologizing?
Yes, yes, he's apologizing.
Aren't you, Maurice?
Yeah? Good.
Okay, shake hands.
We're all gonna go home.
No can do. Sorry.
Well, where do you want it, Nikolai?
Looks like a good spot down there.
Suit yourself.
It's your funeral.
Do-Do you guys know
what a bullet can do?
I was an intern at St. Vincent's.
I know bullet wounds.
It is not a small hole.
It is a messy hole.
It hits a bone,
it could ricochet inside your body.
You know what kind of mess that makes?
You wanna give us room, Joel?
Listen, it hits a major organ-
liver, spleen, heart-
you're dead!
You're dead!
The lung is especially horrible.
Air leaks out,
you get tensiуn pneuomothorax.
The lung fills up and boom,
you drown in your own blood.
All right, so here's the drill.
On the count of three,
you take 10 paces, turn and fire.
Wait a minute!
You're facilitating this?
That's what a second does,
Fleischman.
Okay.
Hey, I'm out of here.
Hope for a stomach wound,
or the intestines.
Then maybe, maybe I can save you,
unless peritonitis gets you first.
Huh?
It means good luck.
You too.
Okay.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine-
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
This is ridiculous.
Hey, we play to a very
sophisticated televisiуn audience.
They know Maurice is not gonna
kill Nikolai, and they definitely know...
that Nikolai is not gonna
kill Maurice.
Wait a minute, Fleischman.
You can't just take it upon yourself
to step out of character.
Nobody yelled, "Cut!''
Joel's right.
The duel is stupid.
Look, can we just stick
to the matter at hand?
How about the fifth revisiуn?
Where-Where Nikolai's
abscessed tooth starts acting up,
and-and-
well, he just cancels?
Glib and textually unwarranted.
What if Maurice trips
and kills somebody else by mistake?
Oh, great.
So I'm a klutz now, huh?
Look, if there's not a duel,
then what is the point of this whole story?
What's the point?
The point is man's tendency to war.
But Joel here is asking us to step outside
of certain events and say, "Enough.''
Am I right?
Listen, whatever.
It's gettin' cold out here.
Why don't we go on to the next scene?
It's a pretty good one.
All right.
My princess.
Oh, will you marry me?
That's my girl, you fiend.
It's such fun
having Nikolai come to town.
Something interesting's
always happening.
Yeah. The molecules shift.
Then everything
goes back to normal.
But then everything's different.
That's exactly it.
And one more thing.
We've achieved dйtente
for