just a distasteful memory
to each other,
we can say we helped create a charming,
touching ceremony. What d'you say?
What time did you book 'em out
on the honeymoon moose?
Fine. You stay on your side of the aisle,
I'll stay on mine.
Wait, wait. Just wait!
You're right. You're right,
and I agree with you.
As members of the wedding,
we should put our best foot forward
and lie about
how much we loathe each other.
Good.
- Sorry what I said about the socks.
- I hadn't done my laundry in two weeks.
Anyway, they look great in the gym.
So what about you? I guess
you'll be getting married in New York.
Me and Elaine? Oh, yeah, New York.
Big Apple family, you know.
- Are you?
- Rick and me?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I guess. I mean, maybe.
Who knows? But sure. Why not?
- I don't know. No reason.
- OK.
Gotta go.
- Maurice?
- Shelly!
- OK if I come in?
- Please, yeah.
Don't ask me if Holling knows
if I'm here or not, cos he doesn't.
Don't get spooked. It's just business.
Hey, guess what I've got on the second
shelf in the fridge. Had it for six months.
A Diet Cherry Pepsi.
I'll get it for you.
Thanks, but it'll just make me pee.
So, little missy.
- How you been?
- I'm OK.
Except for when I get the twirly-whirlies.
Uh-huh? Well, you're...
you're lookin' real good, Shelly.
- You're making my stomach gurgle.
- That's a start, darlin'.
What I'm trying to say is you're not
making what I came to ask you very easy.
Oh. Well, I don't mean to do that.
I'm just as pleased as Punch
that you came back, Shelly.
I've been countin' the days,
tickin' 'em off one by one.
Maurice...
Do you want me
to help you get the words out?
You wanna come home to Daddy, right?
No! I want you to sing at my wedding.
- What?!
- It would mean a lot to me and Holling.
He walked out on you. He left you
standing at the altar in disgrace!
He walked back in. And he re-asked me
to remarry him tomorrow. I've re-said yes.
- What did you expect?
- Well...
I don't know, I...
Well, I thought that we... You...
- Well, I thought that I would...
- Hop on me?
Well, no!
Well, not right away.
Shelly! Shelly, please...
Please sit down.
All right, I...
I did hope that we'd fool around.
But not before I told you
how much I'd missed you,
how much I'd thought about you,
and how I'd dreamed you'd come back.
That other day, at the chapel,
when everybody kept asking
"Where's Holling?",
what I kept thinking was
"Holling can take care of himself."
"But if Maurice passes up
a chance to sing in public,
he must still be real mad at me."
And now you're saying
you're not only still PO'd,
but that you want me back?
Yeah.
Isn't a year and a half a long enough time
to have a crush on somebody?
Wait a minute. Shelly... it was more
than a crush. I would have married you.
I'm sorry, Maurice, but you can't marry
me, cos I'm marrying Holling tomorrow.
Besides which,
you can't carry a blowtorch for me
when I'm carrying little Holling Junior.
It's yucky, and it makes me feel weird.
I don't understand, dammit! I'm so much...
better than he is. You've got to admit that.
Maybe you are. But he's better for me.
I'm sorry, Maurice.
If you'll excuse me,
I've got a couple of businessmen
waiting to close a big deal.
What I always liked best
about you, Maurice,
was when you'd put on those old show
tunes and sing along with the record.
Hey! You can't split.
We haven't notarised the contracts yet!
Come on! One song, Maurice.
Give the kid a break.
To have wings on your heels
on the chance that you'll meet
I'm sorry your daddy couldn't stay.
- We can always send him a snapshot.
- Yeah.
Holling's here, Shelly's here, he's here -
wearing decent socks.
- Got the ring?
- Yes.
- Show me.
- It's in my pocket.
- Show it to me. - I'm not
gonna show it to you! Oh, for G...
It's occasions like these
that my thoughts turn to marriage.
I think of the Dalai Lama,
the Pope, Mother Teresa -
very spiritual people
who