I should like to
see the tachyon funnel disconnected.
You really are an excessively cautious person,
and so mistrustful.
That is because Orac has read
your security file on central records.
Disconnect the funnel, Pinder.
Lies!
All lies! Base and perfidious slander!
I never conspired.
I swear this is nothing but a tissue of falsehood
and calumny designed by my enemies
to blacken my reputation.
- If Servalan has read this, I hope she...
- Why do you mention Servalan?
What?
Well, she was the head of Federation
when these fabrications were compiled.
- Didn't you hear she was dead?
- Ah, yes.
But then I was told
she had assumed a new identity.
One never knows what to believe these days.
Anyway, this is...
This is a load of distortion and rubbish,
and when I return to Earth
- I shall hound down those responsible and...
- Break their arms?
I suggest we get on.
Tachyon funnel is disconnected. Place Orac here.
Orac.
What was the subject
of my degree thesis at Belhangria University?
(Machine humming)
Orac, what was the subject of my degree thesis
at Belhangria University?
Your paper E/9/6044
was on particle physics
and dealt specifically
with the properties of rissions.
It was marked Beta-plus, Egrorian.
Only beta-plus, Egrorian?
Pinder, you're to be seen
and not heard, remember?
If Orac has a fault, it is the tendency
to give more information than is requested.
Or less information than requested.
But seldom just the information that is requested.
That degree was subsequently rescinded
for gross misconduct...
That's enough, Orac!
Have you heard enough
or do you want to run another test?
No.
No, I'm satisfied that
the computer does all that is claimed for it.
Pinder, take the funnel down to the cargo loader.
Give him a hand, Vila.
Are you still suspicious, Avon?
A lesser man than myself
might find that offensive.
Pinder doesn't look very strong.
Is he really only 28?
- Alas, yes.
- What happened?
An unfortunate accident.
- You've heard of Hoffal's radiation?
- No.
Ah.
Hoffal had a unique mind.
Over a century ago
he predicted most of the properties
that would be found in neutron material.
- Neutron material?
- Material from a neutron star.
That is a giant sun which has collapsed
and become so tightly compressed
that its electrons and protons combine,
making neutrons.
I don't need a lecture in astrophysics.
When neutrons are subjected
to intense magnetic force
they form Hoffal's radiation.
Poor Pinder was subjected
for less than a millionth of a second.
He aged 50 years in as many seconds.
And my golden-haired stripling...
became a silver-haired dotard.
Sad, isn't it?
But then one,
one has to face such hazards
when exploring new frontiers!
So neutrons are part of the tachyon funnel?
Eight of them form the core of the accelerator.
Your shuttle should be ready by now,
shall we see?
Pinder.
VILA: He's gone for a lie down.
All that walking exhausted him.
Is everything to your satisfaction, Vila?
Everything's ready to go, including me.
There you are, Avon.
Everything is safely stowed aboard
and under the guard of the estimable Vila.
Little morbid sense of humour, hasn't he?
One could become very fond of that young man.
Oh, I'll tell him that.
Please do.
When the Federation is broken,
tell him I'd like to renew our acquaintance
in more pleasant surroundings.
The shuttle's leaving.
Already? Well, I'll be damned.
That means he's got away with it.
Got away with what?
- You mean the tachyon funnel?
- Not just the tachyon funnel.
Mach six and rising.
Damn it, Avon, we've done it, we've done it!
Yes, I really think we have.
I'd have given odds
Egrorian would try to pull something.
- What's the escape velocity of this thing?
- I don't know.
Why don't you ask Orac?
Orac.
I want the names of all those
who compiled central records
file number 15/9/834.
That report was baseless, Highness.
I've asked Orac to identify my