'm a dead man. Please!
All right, Keiller, we'll take you with us.
- But just a minute, Avon.
- We'll take you with us on one condition.
What's that?
The robbery goes ahead just as you
and your former associates planned it
with one minor modification.
We will use the teleport to steal your gold.
ORAC: I fear that will not be possible, Avon.
Why not?
The processed gold will have undergone
a subneutronic overlap shift.
If subjected to the teleport process as well,
it will reduce to dust irrevocably.
All right.
We'll just have to use Keiller's plan as it stands.
Or falls.
CONTROLLER: Space Princess,
this is Zerok Control. Do you copy?
PILOT: Zerok Control, this is Space Princess.
Go ahead.
CONTROLLER: Orbital clearance is on 7-7-0-2.
- Confirm please.
- Confirm 7-7-0-2.
- Have a happy trip.
- 12 standard days in this crate?
That's happiness.
KEILLER: Good morning. Good morning.
We are now one hour into our cruise,
and this is Keiller, your purser,
welcoming you to Space Princess.
We hope your trip will be a pleasant one.
We'll be visiting some interesting places
between here and Earth.
And I and the Captain and the crew
will endeavour to ensure
that you gain maximum enjoyment
and instruction from your voyage.
Space Princess carries a number
of special luxury facilities.
I want to see the purser.
Come in, Avon.
- How many guards?
- One in the hold.
Two others change shift with him,
but they won't be around off-duty.
- Plainclothes?
- Two, on duty.
- And you know them?
- No. Different department.
But they stand out a mile.
They don't eat the passengers' food,
so they're not drugged.
- And they're rotten actors.
- It's vital that Tarrant and Soolin know them all.
- Now about this drug you gave Dayna.
- Don't worry. It's quite safe.
Causes symptoms, bad ones, but nothing else.
They use it in psychological tests for security.
The plan was that she should fake it.
The regular doctor didn't turn up for the flight.
The one they got as a last-minute replacement
might not be the drunken half-wit
the other one was.
Relax, Avon. It'll work. I stake my life on it.
Oh, yes, indeed.
Good morning. Good morning.
Keiller, the purser speaking.
In a few minutes I shall be giving you
the day's itinerary,
but first please tune all chronometers
to frequency seven for synchronization
with Federation Standard Time.
Excuse me, do you know
where I can find the purser?
No, sorry. Have a nice day.
Ask a silly question. I'm beginning to wish
I was eating the same food as them.
They seem to be having a good time.
- Why don't we wait in the purser's office?
- What a good idea!
Any minute now.
(Bleeping)
It's all right. It's only Keiller.
But this is Avon.
Keep clear of the camera just in case.
There, that should keep us safe, old friend.
As of now, we're not here.
When we shoot the lock,
stand well back, old friend.
They play tricks.
Exploding catches, things like that.
Good morning, passengers.
Keiller again with your day's itinerary as promised.
Will all passengers who wish to now refer
to the star maps issued at the start of the cruise?
Coordinates for the position obtained...
Just look at that.
Will you look at that?
Avon, get down!
Avon, quick, help me get them off!
Quick, Avon. Help me get them off!
Get them off! Not with your hands!
Get something and get them off. Quick! Quick!
- What are they?
- Killers! When they're fired they ignite!
If they hit you, they go right through you, you've
got about 10 seconds.
- Am I clear? Am I clear?
- You're clear!
Make certain.
Some of them don't ignite right away.
You're clear!
Now, are there likely to be any more booby traps?
No. No, that'll be all.
Come on.
The end of our itinerary
for the standard unit, number six.
- That was close.
- Yes, he was nearly dead.
That's it then, Avon, old friend.
Round one to us, I think.
Possibly.
The cube isn't working.
I must have knocked it
when that