promise I'll get it, OK?
Oh, I love you, Archie!
I've loved you ever since
the first second I saw you!
KNOCK
What was that? What?
Your brother didn't bring you here,
did he? No.
He has no idea?
He doesn't have a clue. What?
He is so dumb. He thought
the Gettysburg Address
was where Lincoln lived!
All those terrible lies
he told about the CIA!
When he heard
your daughter's name was Portia,
he said, "Why did they name her
after a car?"
I love the way you laugh!
I love you, you're funny.
How come a girl as bright as you
has a brother who's so...
Don't call me stupid!
Jesus Christ!
Come on!
Otto!
Ouch!
I'll deal with you later!
What have you done with her?
She's all right!
Now, apologise!
What?
Apologise!
WANDA SHOUTS: Oh, shit!
Are you totally deranged?
You pompous...
..stuck-up, snot-nosed, English...
..giant twerp scumbag...
..fuck-face dickhead...
..asshole! How very interesting.
You're a true vulgarian. You're
the vulgarian, you fuck. Apologise!
Me to you?
Apologise!
I apologise. You're really sorry?
I'm really, really sorry.
You take it back? I do. I offer a
complete retraction. The imputation
was totally without basis in fact,
and was in no way fair comment.
I deeply regret any distress that
my comments may have caused you.
I hereby undertake not to repeat
any such slander in the future.
OK.
Aaagh!
BELL TOLLS...
CHOIRBOYS SING "MISERERE DOMINE"
You said you loved him!
That's right, Otto.
Here's a multiple choice question
for you. A: Wanda was lying!
B: Wanda was telling the truth!
Pick one! The first one?
You said you weren't seeing him!
I knew you'd fuck it up!
I'm setting up a guy
who will tell me where the loot is
and if they're going to arrest you,
and you lope in like Rambo without
a jock strap, and dangle him
out of a window! Was that smart?
Was it shrewd? Was it
good tactics or was it stupid?
Don't call me stupid.
Calling you stupid
is an insult to stupid people!
Sheep could outwit you! I've worn
dresses with higher IQs, but you're
an intellectual, aren't you, ape?
Apes don't read philosophy!
They do.
They just don't understand it!
Let me correct you on a couple of
things. Aristotle was not Belgian.
The central message of Buddhism
is not every man for himself.
And the London Underground is not
a political movement! Those are all
mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.
You've just assaulted the man
who can keep you out of jail
and make you rich.
What are you going to do about it?
What would an intellectual do?
What would Plato do?
MUMBLES: Apologise. Pardon me?
Apologise. What?
APOLOGISE! RIGHT!
I'm sorry.
No, not to me. To Archie.
And make it good or we're dead.
Oh, I'm so very, very, very...
FUCK YOU!
I'm so....
I'm very, very... I'm so...
I'm very, very, very...
Very, very...
SMASHING GLASS
THUD!
Ooh! Help!
Hello, Mr Burglar! Going somewhere?
Thought you could rob Mr Leach, eh?
Well, he's a good friend of mine!
Otto! He'll be pleased with me
when he... Otto!
..finds you tied up
and ready for the police!
And don't call me Otto.
To you, I am Mr...
Aaagh!
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry.
I didn't know it was you!
How could I know it was you?
How could I guess? Stupid jerk!
I mean, what the fuck are you doing
robbing your own house, you asshole?
You stupid, pompous, English...
Aaagh! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Er...
Er... Yeah!
DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS
WENDY SCREAMS
Bloody hell!
SHE RUNS DOWN THE STAIRS
Darling!
Are you hurt?
Speak to me! Mmm. Are you hurt?
Can't you speak?
Archie, what has happened?
HE COUGHS
We've been burgled. Oh, no!
Well, are you hurt?
I'm fine. A bit of a headache.
I came in here, somebody hit me...
Is that the time?
What?
I didn't know it was so late. What?
I'm late for a conference. You've
just been attacked! I must fly!
Archie! I'll help you tidy up later!
Hello, Portia! What's happened?
Your father has finally gone