the day.
My pleasure.
Layman's terms. None of that inside,
bullshit jargon that nobody understands.
Yes, sir.
Oh, Mr. Shirley...
We got your Christmas card
the other day, and...
...my family and I are very flattered
that you remembered us.
Corporate cards.
Don't forget that report, Bill.
Yes, sir. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass.
Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.
Happy Hanukkah.
Can I show you something?
I was just smelling... smiling.
I was blouse... browsing.
For your wife or girlfriend?
What? What happened?
I guess it wouldn't be any...
It wouldn't be
the Christmas shopping season...
...if the stores were any less hooter
than they... Hotter than they are.
It is warm in here.
- When you have your coat on.
- Do I?
- How did that happen?
- Because it's cold out.
Yes. Yes.
It is. It's a bit nipply out.
I mean, nippy out.
What am I saying? Nipple?
There is a nip in the air, though.
Can I take something out for you?
I was just, uh...
I was looking at something for my wife.
God rest her soul.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
Oh, no, no, she's not dead, yet.
We're just divorced.
She's history.
Obviously, she doesn't wear underwear...
...there are plenty of shopping days
left until adultery... adulthood.
Which is to say, Christmas,
as in Yule. Yule log.
Not a log. I don't have a log, but I mean,
you know...
...if I had a log. Not in the sense
you think I said I did.
Good golly.
'Tis the season to be merry.
Well, that's my name.
No shit.
These are cut really high on the hip.
Look, I'm wearing something similar.
See? You can't see the line.
- You can't see the line, can you, Russ?
- No.
Look, Daddy, teacher says
every time a bell rings...
...an angel gets his wings.
Folks!
Merry Christmas.
Look how big you've gotten.
Merry Christmas.
Mom.
Knock on the door.
Doesn't Nora look old?
You promised, you promised...
They took a pint of fluid
out of my lower back.
You see this mole? This mole on my neck?
You think it's changing color?
No. You keep touching it.
It's getting redder.
I got hemorrhoids.
Could you believe that?
- Oh, Mother.
- Isn't that terrible?
- You're not getting the space...
- After what you did to my car?
I'm doing the parking.
Come and help me with the...
Mom, they're not sleeping in my room.
I'm gonna go crazy...
Sweetheart, your grandma Nora's got
a real painful burr on her heel.
If you rub it for me,
I'll give you a quarter.
- A quarter.
- And I'll give Audrey a quarter, too.
I'm going to put my car in the garage!
I'll park the cars.
This is what Christmas is all about.
I'll park the cars
and check the luggage, and...
I'll be outside for the season.
We'll have the best-looking house in town.
I've always wanted to do this.
That's a lot of lights, Dad.
I'm sure it's a lot of work,
but if I'm out in the cold...
...and I'm committed
to decorating the house...
...I'm gonna do it right
and I'm gonna do it big.
You want something
you can be proud of, don't you?
Yeah, I guess so.
Sure you do.
You think you might be overdoing it, Dad?
Russ, when was the last time
I overdid anything?
Come on, unravel these.
You have to check every bulb.
A little knot here. You work on that.
I'll get the other box.
I hope he falls and breaks his neck.
I'm sure he'll fall. But I don't think we're
lucky enough to have him break his neck.
Let's go.
These gusty winds appear to be playing
havoc with the giant nutcracker float.
At this point, I can't even see the nuts.
They must have blown away.
But nothing is going to dampen the spirit
of this holiday crowd, I can tell you that.
Oh, here they are. Here come the nuts.
Would it be indecent
to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?
Can we at least forbid them
to answer the phone?
Alexander called this morning
and Grandpa Clark told him...
...I couldn't come to the phone
'cause I was going to the bathroom.
We're all making sacrifices, Audrey.
Everybody?
Do you sleep