came over
and we got in a fight.
He said, "No bitch is gonna tell
me what to do for a living. "
He told me he loved me.
Sweetie.
They say that,
and then they come.
Honey, what can you expect
from a kid like that?
Mom, back off. The last guy
you dated stole our furniture.
Men are scum.
I know.
I know, sweetie.
Men are scum.
Hi, Garry.
Honey, Julie's home.
Great.
Come on, let's go
eat lots of ice cream.
Do you want an ice-cream soda? No.
How about... Do you want,
like, a hot-fudge sundae?
Do you want
a banana split?
Mmm-mmm.
Do you want something
like French fries? Yeah.
You do?
Julie!
Tod!
I thought I'd
find you here.
What does that make you,
Sherlock Holmes? I live here.
You live with me.
I wouldn't live with you
if the world were flooded with
piss and you lived in a tree.
Excuse me, I'm going to the movies.
You're not leaving here until
you hear what I have to say.
I'm not...
Julie!
Let go of me!
Let her go!
Julie, just listen to me!
Julie, please!
Let her go!
God damn it! Let her go!
Julie... Please!
Please, Miss Buckman, I love
her. Let her go! God damn it!
Julie, you can't run out
on me. You're my wife.
If you don't let her go, I'm
gonna call the... You're his what?
His wife. We got married
a couple of days ago.
Are you out of your mind?
Mom!
No, please, Miss Buckman!
Are you out of your mind?
Julie, I didn't mean it.
What?
I'm sorry.
My brothers were ragging on me
and I couldn't back down,
but last night, I told them.
They mean nothing.
You mean everything.
Oh, Tod.
Christ.
Okay, look lively, look
lively. You're doing great.
Shortstop, here it goes.
All right, pick it up!
Easy, now over to first. That's right.
That's the way to play. That's good.
All right, you're beautiful. You're a
bunch of wild, young bohemians. Okay.
Let's go again. Okay,
second base. Here we go.
Now get down on it. Don't be
afraid. It can't hurt you, Ben.
Here we go. Get down on that.
Get down on it, get down!
Wayne, get Ben some ice.
All right, we're gonna
need a new second baseman.
Now, which one of you outfielders
wants to try second base, huh?
Huh?
How about you, Kevin?
You wanna try second base?
Okay.
All right.
Oh, Matt, come on. None of that.
We're a team. Let's be a team.
Now, come on. Get out
there and hustle. Let's go.
Hey, Kevin, remember,
the word is "fun. "
So just go on
out there
and what you catch,
you catch,
and what you miss,
you miss.
Okay?
Okay, Dad.
Okay. Come on.
Way to go, Kevin.
And now it is my great pleasure
to introduce our valedictorian,
Kevin Buckman.
Thank you.
You know, when I was nine years
old, I had kind of a rough time.
A lot of people thought
I was pretty mixed up.
But there was one person
who got me through it.
He did everything right.
And thanks to him, today,
well, I'm the happiest,
most confident,
and most well-adjusted person
in this world.
Dad, I love you.
You're the greatest.
All right!
All right!
Okay!
One more out, guys!
Let's go! Let's go!
How's your arm, son?
Not too tired?
Hey, Gil, our boys
finally gonna win one game?
Way to be supportive, Lou.
That's right.
That's right, Kevin!
Way to go. Way to go, Tommy!
All right! All right!
All right, Adam.
We got bases loaded.
We're only one run down.
Now, you can do it. Get
up there. Come on, now.
Please, God,
let them win one game.
Got it!
No!
You stink, Buckman!
He had no business
being out there!
What's the matter with you?
No business!
No!
He had no business
being out there! Terrible!
Why'd you make me
play second base?
Someone's climbed to the roof
of the bell tower with a rifle!
It's Kevin Buckman. His
father totally screwed him up.
What's he yelling?
You made me play
second base!
Kevin, I'm sorry.
I did the best I could.
Nice shot, son. It's
important to be supportive.
Come on, let's sing
one of the old tunes.
When you're sliding
into home
And your pants
are full of foam
Diarrhea