died 20 years ago.
They said it was the goulash.
And thank you
for my lovely door.
Oh, that's nothing. Tomorrow
I'm gonna start on a garage.
Mmm.
Yeah.
Remote control,
the works.
Have you ever quit before?
I'd rather not talk during this
last one, if you don't mind.
You'll go back to chicago
a healthy man.
They'll give you a medal
for saving your own life.
That's it. I'm dead, f nished.
I'll go insane now.
Oh, God. Here come
the withdrawal symptoms.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh! Hey!
Goddamn!
esus christ! What are
you, some kind of nut?
Get over here. ust get over
here! On your stomachs, fast.
We, re from the Department of
the interior, Game Protection.
What the hell
- Shut up, mister! Mr. Harris.
You've just committed a felony punishable by
two to ten years in the federal penitentiary.
That's a bald eagle you're shooting at, and
the American government takes it personally.
We haven't shot any birds. I don't
want to hear about it, Mr. clagett.
Tell it to the judge,
all right?
You have the right
to remain silent.
If you choose to speak, anything
you say may be held against you.
- You have a right to a lawyer.
- That's a $900 shotgun!
Do we need the cuffs
for you?
I don't see where you get
off destroying that shotgun.
Look, mister, there are only 2,000
bald eagles left in North America,
thanks to
an endless supply...
of obscene assholes
like you!
Now...
here's how it's gonna be.
I let you go down the mountain
on your own recognizance.
You report to the ranger station at
Fort creek, talk to captain clark.
He, II have your names. Have you
got that so far? aptain lark.
Oh, one other thing.
If you don't show up there in three
days, you'll be hearing from the F.B.I.
Okay?
This was three years ago.
For some reason, Reginald and claire
abandoned their nest on cougar Ridge...
and they began to build
another nest here,
where Wind River bends at-
what- BridgerJunction, I guess.
Don't do that, please.
I have nice breath. I'm a
nonsmoker. I gave it up for you.
Look, I mean it!
Okay. Okay.
Whatever you say.
Def
nitely frigid.
ery attached
to her walking stick.
I've been forced to give up smoking
and sex in the same lifetime.
Brief moment of panic
in the john today.
I couldn't remember the name of
a single store on Michigan Avenue.
Where, d you learn your
shorthand? Tokyo? Hi!
Hi. I've been reading shorthand
for 15 years, but never like this.
It's my own patent. I
invented it. an you read it?
Or doesn't it matter since it's
only going into a newspaper?
Shall I leave now
and fall into a ravine...
or eat the pages
and choke to death?
I've got a better idea.
Why don't you do a story on me? Pardon?
Marshall Field, Lord &
Taylor, Bonwit Teller,
Stanley Korshak, Saudi
Airways, the Water Tower,
Tiffany's, Saks.
And that, Mr. souchak,
was my moment of truth.
so before I even got back to Boston,
i knew that was going to be my life.
Boston, by the way, is
B-O-S-T-O-N. Thank you.
I decided even before I left
Gambia- That's G-A-M-B-l-A.
I know how to spell Gambia. Sorry.
Why ornithology though?
Why a profession-
I like the uniform.
Pardon?
No, now ask me, didn't my mother prefer me
to settle down, meet some nice accountant?
esus.
Attractive Boston housewife and mother,
Evelyn Porter, 41, stated categorically-
Why are you being such a
hard-ass? What? Not good?
Not gossipy enough? All
right. You win, I lose.
People like talking
about themselves.
They're fascinated
with themselves.
Some people are fascinated
with other people.
That's why they ask them questions. Really?
Really.
Okay.
Right. so you dropped out of
college, you, re bumming around hicago.
Then what?
Since it was the only thing I was good at,
I f gured I might as well get paid for it.
So I became a reporter...
and invented
Souchak shorthand.
Didn't your mother want you to meet
some nice accountant and settle down?
Maybe reporters f nd
other people interesting..