want, I'll give you coins,
Gold or silver - it's your choice.
Keep us without sin this day,
Better put your coins away,
I'm not doing it for money,
I enjoy it, so why pay?
Should you have some trouble again,
Come, don't treat me with disdain,
After all, I'm not a beast,
I will always soothe your pain.
By tomorrow you must get
A carpet of a spun gold thread,
Try and do it for all you're worth,
It's a state affair, don't forget!
It has got to have a grand
Map-like view of the whole land.
'cause from my balcony I see
Nothing. Do you understand?
If you don't fulfil the task
And don't do as you are asked,
I shall have to hand you in
To the butcher in the mornin'!
Tell me, why are you so angry?
Why don't you eat, you must be hungry.
Is the porridge overdone?
Or the meat is underdone?
Dash it! I don't feel like eating,
The Tsar's ferocity is killing!
The villain knows no justice, heck!
There's no keeping him in check!
He has ordered me to get
A carpet with an ornament
Which must be as big as Russia
With the lakes and woods on it!
Don't you worry, don't you sob!
Never mind the crazy snob!
Stand before me, Frol and Tit,
Get immediately what we need!
Do you hear what I say?
Go and do it without delay!
You don't have to doubt us,
We have done it many times!
I was told to get a carpet,
As you see, I've really got it,
Both the pattern and the colour
Are exactly as you wanted!
Oh my!
The whole of Russia is depicted
On the carpet. You may keep it.
It's my spouse's gift, brand new,
She has woven it for you!
You're a dodger through and through!
How m'ny maids are you married to?
You cannot be engaged to
An entire weaving mill, can you?
I know you have a wife, Fedot,
She's the only one you've got,
And to weave a thing like this
One has got to have a lot!
Is the carpet not so fine?
Or you don't like the design?
Then I'll put it on my shoulder,
That's the end, I draw the line!
Lest my efforts be in vain
I shall sell it to trades men,
And I do not care a damn
If it flows to Amsterdam!
I would be so glad to slash
You with a whip or with a lash,
So that you might never again
Play your jokes on serious men!
However, as a man I'm quiet,
And I'm fair, I'll give you right:
Here's a coin for you, buy vodka.
Now get out of my sight!
Well, my General, I imagine,
You have missed by a small margin,
But this margin will make up
Five years of a prison camp!
You're broad in shoulders all right,
But you've grown dull in mind,
There's a chance, at state expense,
To restore your mental health.
You may jail me any day
For any term, but I should say,
Prison as an object lesson
Will not help me anyway.
I would rather, sword in hand,
Fight for our dear land,
As for these petty intrigues
Count me out of such things!
Come, your honour, be a good chap,
Don't you get into a flap,
Think about how Fedot
Can be laid down without a sword.
If you fool about 'nd refuse,
Then don't look for an excuse;
I shall wipe your mug, you swine,
With this very fist of mine!
Why are you so glum again?
What's the reason, who's to blame?
Are the Spaniards too pugnacious?
Do the French lay any claim?
Here's a mould drink I have made,
Take a gulp, don't be afraid.
It will help you to forget
All the cares of life, I bet!
Though it’s out of the way,
It will cool you anyway,
You'll be healthy by tomorrow
If you do not die today!
It's the soldier-man again,
He has caused me so much pain!
That's the reason why I'm ailing,
And I'm suffering from strain.
The bloody scoundrel's so clever!
He has fooled me! Well I never!
All your magic was in vain,
He got the carpet all the same!
Though he doesn't seem so bright,
He has got a keen mind!
Next time, when you do your magic,
Try to do it damn right!
Magic, magic, you know what,
Three are here, yours are not,
Ace of diamonds, oaken coffin,
Tell me all about Fedot!...
Ah-a, mm-mm... To my calls
I've got the following response:
Let