ballet, asshole!
You did it! You did it!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
That is the best Hamlet ever.
Except for mine.
Wow! Yeah!
Oh, this is the happiest
moment of my life.
- They bought that shit.
- Sh... "Shit"?
You're calling my Hamlet shit?
He's a wimp. I mean, look at him. He
can't make up his mind about anything.
He stands around all night and says,
"What'll I do? What'll I do? What'll I do?"
Give me Romeo or Henry the Fifth.
Now, there's a guy I could boff.
Boff? Oh, we're back to boffing, are we?
- I see. That's... That's the criteria for your great...
- Absolutely!
Right, whether you would boff the hero.
Well, who will you go to
When there's no one to betray
And I said
Who will you go to
When your best friend turns away
Hey, hey
Last time you're gonna let me down
Last time you're gonna
fool around with me
It's the last time
Last time you're gonna let me down
Last time you're gonna
fool around with me
It's the last time, baby
Last time you're gonna let me down
Last time you're gonna
fool around with me
It's the last time
Last time you're gonna let me down
Last time you're gonna
fool around with me
It's the last time, baby
There's a garden full of roses
There's a necklace full of pearls
You have come to take the roses
To give to other girls
Well, I'm just a pretty thing
You wanted for a day
There is nothing left between us
There is nothing left to say
Hey, hey
Last time you're gonna let me down
Last time you're gonna
fool around with me
Last time you're gonna let me down
Last time you're gonna
fool around with me
It's the last time[Music]I just met you [music]
[Music] Yet I'm feeling [music]
[Music] That somehow we met
somewhere before [music]
[Music]I think I love you [music]
[Music]In my dreams 100 times
or maybe more [music]
[Music]Ah [music]
[Music] What a conviction [music]
[Music]I just can't
conceal it [music]
[Music] There's a kind of magic
in the air [music]
[Music] Oh, I can feel it [music]
[Music] There's something special
It's gonna happen tonight [music]
[Music]I want you
to know that [music]
[Music] There's something special
It's gonna happen tonight [music]
[Music]I promise I'll be good
to you [music]
[Music] What a conviction [music]
[Music]I just can't
conceal it [music]
[Music] There's a kind of magic
in the air [music]
[Music] Oh, I can feel it [music]
[Music] There's something special
It's gonna happen tonight [music]
[Music]I want you
to know that [music]
[Music] There's something special
It's gonna happen tonight [music]
[Music]I promise I'll be good
to you [music]
[Music] There's something special
It's gonna happen tonight [music]
Oh! All right,
that's it.
What's the matter, Marie?
What happened?
- She tried to kill me.
- Well, isn't that the point?
No, Lauren,
this is theatrical fencing.
This isn't an autopsy.
All right?
All right.
Damn it, I don't even
know why we have to do this.
If you want to do Shakespeare,
Shakespearean people have duels.
- Not the women.
- It's my ambition to play Hamlet.
Oh, that'll pack 'em
in the aisles.
Yes.
Colette.
Lan.
Good.
Lauren.
[Teacher]
Excellent.
Naomi.
Bitch.
- Lauren.
- Hi.
- Have dinner with me tonight.
- What?
- Say, "Yes."
- George.
- Say, "Yes."
- Why are you acting like this?
Because I want
to be with you.
Oh, that's nice.
- This is so funny, George.
I thought you were gay.
- Well, I am.
It's just that I play
so many heterosexual roles,
I feel I really need
to do some serious research.
Mm-hmm.
And just when you think
there's no greater depth...
to which an actor
could possibly sink.
That's nothin'.
Remember Fred?
[Chuckling]
Fred.
I've got a 50 percent
hearing loss in this ear...
from him yelling,
"Stella," in bed.
I tell you, I swore off
actors a year ago.
I said if that's the only
subspecies of men available,
I'd rather not
date at all.
And I haven't,
but there are other things.
My work, I perfect my