Really. Hamlet. How am I gonna know Hamlet?
You really should if you're
going to be an actress.
Oh, pardon me...
but, you know, we can't all of us study at the
London School of Shakespearean Weirdness, you know.
Some of us had to schlepp
drinks for a living.
I'm sorry, Sandy.
Oh, God.
So, where you wanna go now?
I don't know.
They'll be after us.
- I was thinking...
- Yeah. So was I.
What?
That we go find Michael
and rip his face off.
- That, and get the toxin back.
- Oh, the hell with the toxin.
- I just wanna rip his face off.
- No, we need the toxin.
We don't want the CIA on
our backs all our lives.
- Just so I get to rip his face off.
- I promise we'll rip his face off after we get the toxin.
Hey! Hello, honey! Hello!
No, no, you idiot!
My shoes!
- Hey, Stan.
- What?
Looks like you're gonna
be facing KGB tribunals.
Unless, of course, you'd
like to make an arrangement.
Would such an arrangement include, uh,
unlimited expense account?
Condo on the Potomac?
Redskins season tickets? Huh?
Aw, nuts!
Thanks, Humphrey. It was sweet of you.
Oh, it was my pleasure, Lauren.
Well, what should we do first?
Get a little sushi? Take in a show?
Now, why do they do that?
Has there ever been one woman in the
history of the world who actually said...
"Yes, fellas, please, take me now."
For a bed and a bath,
I'd... I'd consider it.
- Bite your tongue.
- Hey, turisto. Welcome.
Hey, you're lookin' for a guide, right?
Native Indian to show you the hidden
wonders of this great Chicatacawa nation?
Well, ladies, you have found him.
Special price, today only... $20.
I don't want to be the first to break
this to you... you are not an Indian.
That's a technicality.
I've been a blood brother to
the Chicatacawa since 1968.
I got a tan. What do you want for $20?
Honey, I'm an actress. I love to dress
up and pretend. And the hat is fabulous.
But what we need right
now is to find a man.
Well, okay, but it's
not gonna be that great.
- I'm a little bombed.
- What?
And it's still $20.
No. No, no. No, no, no.
- We're looking for a specific man...
- So we can kill him.
Oh, then you need a witness. Hey,
I'll stand up for you in court.
I saw the whole thing. It was an
accident. The axe slipped out of your hand.
It's a wonderful scenario. When we
find the guy, we're gonna let you know.
- Thanks.
- Find him?
Find as in "locate"? "Track down"?
Hey, now we are rollin'. We have
hit the nail right on the hammer.
I'm a tracker. That's
my vocation... a tracker.
A guy who tracks down other
guys. That's my main gig!
Genuine Indian shit.
- What do you think?
- He's a bum.
But he might have good instincts.
Should we ask for references?
Hey, you wanna find this guy or not?
- Ah, ancient Indian techniques.
- Oh, those could be anybody's.
Yeah, they could...
anybody about 185 pounds...
dragging his right leg a
little like it's injured.
And...
smoking one hand-rolled Colton's...
every three minutes.
Admit it. The man is cool.
- Yeah, come on.
- Oh, baby.
Yeah, why you do this to me, huh?
Oh, my God.
Wow! That is some major
ill repute happening there.
- Come on, let's go.
- No, no, don't try it.
You'll never get past
Gert. It's customers only.
Come on, let's get out
of here. Come on. Hey.
- Let's go, will ya. Come on.
- Customers?
Customers! You get his
shirt, I'll get his pants.
What? Come on! You had your chance
at me, and you lost it. Come on, now!
- Oh, I want the hat.
- Will you stop it!
Who do you think you're kiddin', huh?
How old are you boys?
Thirteen? Fourteen?
Hell, you're just babies.
Why, you can't even shave yet.
- Your daddy know you're here?
- Hell, yes. He told us where to come.
Come. Get it?
Oh. First time.
Oh, no way!
- It's his first time.
- What'd you tell her that fer?
- You chickenshit, huh?
- I ain't! I done it plenty!
- You chickenshit. You chickenshit.
- Oh, you always tell my secrets. I'm gonna get you.
Chickenshit..