Amadeus". It won 8 Oscars!
I saved him in 'Nam,
so I will be on the lookout.
Now, no more movies.
Slater!!
The city council is chewing my eggs
off for your plane crash!
The mayor is parading up my
Lincoln Tunnel for that beach stunt!
Everybody wants to know
what it will be!
- Do I make myself clear?!
- I am just doing my job.
You have given us the worst
reputation in the country!
The Chamber of Commerce is doing
cartwheels in my cocoa factory!
Ratcliff, you are on duty
with the cat.
Hiya, Toots!
- Join me for a flea bath later?
- Touch me again and I will kill you!
- I can prove this is a movie.
- Who are you?
It is a cartoon cat.
He is supposed to be back.
He was only suspended a month.
Listen to me. An animated cat
just walked into the squad room.
- He will do it again tomorrow.
- That cat is one of my best men.
Who is that smiling twerp?
I love the way you fight, knowing
how you really feel about each other.
How do I feel about this
sack of puppy poo?
You are dearest friends.
After your wife left you -
- Jack told everyone he drove
her to the diphtheria clinic.
When he came back, you said:
"You saved me from humiliation.
You are my dearest friend."
- You promised not to tell.
- I did not.
- Then how did he know?
- "Jack Slater I".
- Won what?
- No, the first Jack Slater.
You told your dad?
I told no one.
I do not know this kid.
He seems to know
a lot about us.
The state of New York has
never heard of you, Mr. Madigan.
- What is your name?
- Danny Madigan.
- Where are you from?
- How did you get in my car?
I fell off a bridge into your car.
He saved my life.
Truth at last.
Now why were they after you?
My cousin Frank found out
some drug information.
Do not believe
what Vivaldi told him.
- How do you know about Vivaldi?
- I know what is going on.
- If you would just listen...
- I have the perfect listener for you.
Meet your new partner.
Oh no... Better to die.
You will love it, Jack.
We are perfect buddy material.
I teach you to be vulnerable,
you teach me to be brave.
I am Jack Slater's new partner.
We work together in this film.
You know I am right.
If this was the real world, -
- they would not make us partners,
but send me to a social worker.
How do I know they tortured Frank
and stashed him behind his door?
I saw it on screen.
This is a movie.
You are very clever, and I would
be roaring with laughter, -
- but they killed my cousin.
And that is a...
"Big mistake." That is what
you were going to say, right?
- How would I know that?
- No one likes a smart-ass.
Then shoot me. Point your gun
at my head and pull the trigger.
Come on. Do it.
I double dare you.
But you are not going to do it.
You do not kill kids in the movies.
Because you are the good guy.
You really believe you are
inside a movie, do you not?
You have ten minutes to prove it.
And then I shoot you.
- Schwarzenegger films?
- Foreign films are in the back.
- No, this guy is an action star.
- Down the centre on the left.
No, it is not possible.
What? He is fantastic.
It is his best performance ever.
- It was you in that movie.
- You were in a movie?
Yes, called "Girl of My Dreams".
It starred you.
We had a very romantic
scene together.
- What is the store's phone number?
- 5552310.
What is your home number?
You can give it to him.
I am a police officer.
- 5553812.
- Amazing.
I will bet that everyone
has a 555 number.
There can only be 9999 numbers
that start with 555.
- How many people live in L.A.?
- Eight or nine million.
That is why we have area codes.
- Is this your kid?
- Oh no.
He is a mental patient
that I am taking downtown.
What about this girl?
She is too attractive to work here.
I agree. I think she should work
with us. Undercover of course.
The point is there are
no unattractive women here.
Where are the ordinary women?
- Nowhere. This is a movie.
- No, this is California.
And thanks. It was sweet
the way