Frank.
- Excuse me.
- Yep.
Drebin here. Get me Pete Preussing.
Tell him I'd like the final report
on Martin and Sally Decker.
Right.
Looks like we got a new champ, huh?
Well,
looks like I can get back to reading
the sport pages now.
Speaking of sports pages, I see they're
bringing your friend Martin in now.
You think you're a big man, Drebin,
but I'm telling you,
I'm gonna beat this rap.
Don't count on that, Martin.
Looks like you and your cohorts'll
be doing your boxing
up at the Statesville Prison from now
on.
Be sure to tune in next week
for another exciting story
from the files of Police Squad!Police Squad! In colour.
Starring Leslie Nielsen.
Also starring Alan North.
And Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln.
Tonight's speciaI guest star,
Robert Goulet.
Ready, aim, fire!
Tonight's episode, A Bird in the Hand.
Kingsley,
mind if I dance with my daughter?
Of course not, Mr Burton.
You know, Terri,
this song is awfully difficult to dance to.
Let's get them to play something else.
Fellows, could you play
something different?
Make a wish.
Cake, everyone?
Terri.
- Can I talk to you in private?
- Of course.
Let's go out in the Japanese garden.
- What is it, Kingsley?
- I just wanted to ask you,
have you made up your mind
about marrying me yet?
I need more time.
But you said you'd give me
an answer by tonight.
I'm not ready to give you an answer.
I love you, Terri.
And I love you, too, Kingsley.
My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin,
Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad,
a speciaI division
of the police department.
There had been a recent
wave of murders at the city zoo.
I was bringing in a suspect
when I got a call from headquarters
about the kidnapping of Terri Burton.
I headed for the Burton mansion.
Good evening.
Evening.
Is this 808 Garboniforus Road?
- Maple Street?
- Yes, sir, it is.
I'm from Police Squad.
I'd like to see Captain Hocken.
Of course, Lieutenant Flebner.
Drebin. Do come in.
Her name is Terri Burton.
Excuse me.
Frank, I'm glad you're here.
- What do you got, Ed?
- Nothing so far.
Nobody's seen or heard anything.
- Is there a ransom note?
- Yes, the butler found it.
It was tied to this window
and thrown into the rock garden.
I sent the note to the lab.
They're demanding $1 million.
Why would the lab
demand a million dollars?
The kidnappers
made the demand, Frank.
If you don't mind, Ed,
I'd like to see
the scene of the abduction.
Sure, right here.
The Abduction. Scene one, take three.
And I love you, too, Kingsley.
Who's the guy?
His name's Kingsley Addison,
Terri's boyfriend.
I sent him home, Frank.
He had a nasty bump on the head.
Would you like to meet the parents
of the kidnapped girl?
Of course.
Frank, the pвtй's exquisite.
Excuse me, Mr And Mrs Burton,
- Lieutenant Drebin.
- Mr Drebin.
The feeling is mutual.
I know this is trying, but we've got
to ask you a few questions.
By all means.
Could you tell me,
did your daughter receive any threats
- on her safety recently?
- No, she didn't.
This whole thing
came as a total shock to us.
Hello.
It's the kidnappers.
Please, let me speak to my daughter.
All right, relax. Keep calm.
Norberg, get a tap to the phone.
- Yes, sir.
- What'll I do?
Keep the kidnapper on the phone
so we can trace the call. Go ahead.
Where is my daughter? Is she all right?
Okay. I understand.
No, no, please, don't hang up!
Please, don't hurt my daughter.
I love her so much.
Terri is safe, isn't she?
No, don't hang up.
Please don't hang up.
Is it cold where you are?
It's warm here.
Who do you think will win
the NBA Pacific Division this year?
Who do I think? I go with L.A.
They need a little deeper bench,
but they have
a really strong, solid starting five.
No, wait!
If a train leaves New York
travelling 120 miles an hour
and another train leaves Pittsburgh
driving 115 miles per hour,
what train do you suppose
will arrive in Chicago first?
That's right.
Wait...