lakefront! My God!
Do you know how big that area is?
-My daughter's a needle in a haystack!
-That's not true.
I've seen a picture of her.
She's very attractive.
Maybe a little thin.
But don't you worry.
We've got everything under control.
Mr Burton, we have men
working around the clock
trying to locate your daughter.
Warner Burton's fears were real.
Time was running out for Terri.
Ed and I drove around for hours
for no particular reason.
We came up empty.
Fill her up.
Ed?
-You hear that?
-What?
-The ring.
-That's just the gas station hose.
No, no, no.
Sounds like the bell on Terri's tape.
You mean, we've been looking
in the wrong place?
-Exactly.
-Then what's the foghorn?
Don't think foghorn.
You still got that tape
that Norberg gave you for Christmas?
Yeah. It's in the glove compartment.
That's not a foghorn. That's a tuba.
Right. Come on, Ed. We got a job to do.
We're gonna have to check every tuba
rental, sales and repair shop in town
that's close to a filling station.
That's gonna be
a mighty tall order, Frank.
This city is the tuba capital of the world.
I know, Ed. It's the only chance we got.
-Ed, you find anything?
-No, nothing.
Frank, we've been
through hundreds of these.
Acme Tuba, Tuba World,
Tubas Are Us...
-Can you take a phone call, Captain?
-Not now, Al!
International House of Tubas,
Tuba or Not Tuba,
Tuba Legation.
We've come to a dead end, Frank.
I thought sure
we'd come up with something by now.
You're too hard on yourself, Ed.
We've only got an hour to rescue Terri.
You'd better check your sources, Frank.
Find out what the word on the street is.
Frankly, I think that's our only chance.
Johnny?
Now, I need some information
and I need it fast.
You mean about this
kidnapped girl, Terri Burton?
What do you know about tuba stores
located near gas stations?
Nothing.
But they just opened up a new tuba club
and that's near a gas station.
Where is it?
It's called the El Tubadero Club.
-It's near Fifth and National.
-Thanks, Johnny.
It's my pitching, Johnny.
Do you think I need another starter?
How should I know?
The rigours of a full season
on a four-man rotation
are just too demanding.
You need a left-handed swing man
to fill your long relief spot.
Give him an occasional start
and it'll round out your staff nicely.
You're talking about a guy like Gossage,
aren't you, Johnny?
Come on, Tommy, use your head!
Gossage is right-handed and besides,
he can't throw more than two innings.
Here's the names of five southpaws
with career ERA's under 2.93.
And you wouldn't
have been in this mess
if you hadn't given up Tommy John.
This is the police.
Put your gun down and surrender.
He's holding the girl hostage.
I'm going over there, Frank,
and try to get behind him.
Cover me.
Come down with your hands up.
You'll never take me alive.
You wanna play it tough?
Well, two can play at that game.
All right.
Get up!
Thank you! Thank you!
You saved my life!
It's all right. It's all right now.
Thames!
Why?
Because I needed the money.
Frank, the black and white is here.
Thank you, Commissioner,
but I can't take all the credit.
The entire Police Squad
was in on this one.
Right.
Well, Frank, it's been a good day.
We got a confession
out of old zoo breath.
What? Oh, good.
I was just going over
the arraignment report.
It looks like the butler Thames
will be doing his serving from now on
up in the Statesville prison.
Along with Martin, Dutch Gunderson,
Lana and Sally Decker.
Frank, when will people learn
that crime doesn't pay?
Well, I suppose if they do learn,
we'll be out of a job.
Be sure to tune in next week
for another exciting story
from the files of Police Squad!Police Squad! In colour.
Starring Leslie Nielsen.
Also starring Alan North.
And Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln.
Tonight's special guest star,
Lorne Greene.
Tonight's episode, The Broken Promise.
Sally, I just can't
cover up for you anymore.