the Albanian campaign.
- Lovely.
- It's better than lovely.
This guy made a deal
with Governor Kneehigh...
- Senator Leahy.
- Right.
Connie, you have to see how much
granite you have to put in this thing.
We got a site picked out and everything.
And, the beauty part is...
...guess who retains the
merchandising rights.
- Show him the clock?
- Show him.
Got it as a clock.
Lovely.
- We gotta get going.
- When's Schumann coming back?
Getting him right now.
- I need his neck size.
- You gotta get his neck size.
I think it may be about 171/2.
You know, 171/2, thinking
is not good enough.
I'm an artist, not a factory worker.
What did he eat behind enemy
lines when he's trapped?
Birds, snakes.
Bullshit. He ate tiny
cheeseburgers in tin foil.
Pull a string, they heat themselves, ok?
We call Burger King, Johnny Rockets.
We get the Shoe Burger with
cheese and 303 sauce...
"Behind enemy lines or anytime."
- Good.
- Good? That's good.
That's the slogan.
And I got the copyright on
the Albanian kitten thing.
I'm gonna call Nike, get Rodman
to dye his hair leopard skin.
We'll have a sneaker... "Air Leopard."
...a high school basketball
game last night...
...between Montgomery
Bell and Blair Park.
Students, during the game...
...in spontaneous moment
of sheer patriotism...
...threw their tennis shoes on
the court by the hundreds...
...just for the Old Shoe.
Bring him back. William
Schumann, soldier...
There's no business like it.
Demonstrations are springing
up all over the country...
...as American people continue
to show their patriotism.
You ought to get them to run
that inaugural speech by me.
Inaugural speech? I don't know.
The White House staff gonna be
jealous by given up that one.
Come on, Connie. Let me
close out the thing in style.
I've come to feel it's my thing.
You take a job, you take a job, and
many times, it's just a job, you know.
And then... You know what I mean?
Hell of a ride, Stanley. Hell of a ride.
Isn't it? Isn't it?
You know, you take the
bitter with the sweet...
...or the sweet with the bitter.
What's that expression?
...feeling good about the economy.
That's why we're voting
for the president, Ed.
What do you think?
Well, Bob, my mind wasn't
100% made up, but now it is.
I say, don't go changing
horses in midstream.
Absolutely.
Who needs surprises these days?
For an economy you can rely on...
Fucking amateurs.
Pity of it is, two more days,
and we bring it all back home.
Knock wood.
And who's gonna know?
Who's gonna know what we did?
Pride of a job well done, Stan.
It's the pride of a job well
done, but it's more that, Stanley.
It's the gratitude of your
party and your president, right?
- Is that the thing?
- Indeed it is. Indeed it is.
Dean City, Oklahoma.
Army special programs.
Tell 'em to bring Schumann to the plane.
We'll bring him back and
stash him in the hospital.
Call the plane. Tell me
where to pick him up.
I bet you're good at chess.
I would be, I could remember
how all the pieces move.
Ok. So, we'll call you. Ok.
/I'll do the same in His great name...
/...if you have courage, Mom.
/I can always feel your love.
/Send, and I'll receive.
Units of 303, the Defense Department...
...confirmed early this
morning, Albanian time...
...stormed the mountain
hideaway near the city of...
...freeing a tired but
happy William Schumann.
A high White House source confirms...
...that he's expected in
Washington tomorrow morning.
How's that?
Hello? Hello? Hello?
So, when we touch down tomorrow...
...Big Bird's gonna meet
Schumann at the airport?
Big mistake. Big mistake. You
got to bring him in by stages.
Big mistake to reveal
Schumann before the election.
How so?
Sweetheart, Schumann is the shark. Ok?
Schumann is Jaws.
You know, you have to tease
'em. You gotta tease 'em.
You don't put Jaws in the
first reel of the movie.
It's the contract, sweetheart.
The contract with the election,