the count of ten...
... to get your ugly, yellow...
... no-good keister off my property...
... before I pump your guts
full of lead.
All right, I'm sorry.
I'm going.
One, two... ten.
Keep the change,
you filthy animal.
Mom!
What's the matter?
Honey?
I have a terrible feeling.
About what?
That we didn't do something.
You feel that way because
we left in a hurry.
We took care of everything.
Did I turn off the coffee?
No.
I did.
Did you lock up?
Yeah.
Did you close the garage?
That's it.
I forgot to close the garage.
That's it.
No, that's not it.
What else could we be forgetting?
Kevin!
The captain's doing all he can.
Your phones are out of order.
We'll call when we land.
I'm sure it's okay.
Horrible. Horrible.
Just horrible.
How could we do this?
We forgot him.
We didn't forget him,
we just miscounted.
What kind of mother am I?
If it makes you feel any better,
I forgot my reading glasses.
Five families gone
on one block alone.
They all told me from their
own mouths.
It's almost too easy.
Check it out:
All the houses with nobody home...
...have automatic timers
on their lights.
But I got it all figured out.
Watch this.
Number 664 will be going on
right about...
...now.
Wait, wait, wait.
Number 682...
...right now.
Wait a minute.
681...
...now.
And that's the one, Marvin.
That's the silver tuna.
It's very G.
Very G, huh? It's loaded.
It's got lots of top-flight goods.
- Stereos, VCRs...
- Toys?
Probably looking at some
very fine jewelry.
Possible cash horde.
Odd marketable securities.
Who knows? It's a gem.
Grab your crowbar.
Crowbars up.
You're a rotter,
Mr. Grinch
You're the king
Of sinful sots
Your heart's a dead tomato
Blotched with moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch
Which way?
We'll go around back,
down the basement.
- You said they were gone.
- They were gonna leave today.
Let's get out of here.
We have to use the phone, please.
It's an emergency.
We really have to make a call.
Please! Our brother's home alone.
Give us the phone!
I'm sorry. Thank you.
I'm calling the police.
Book us a flight home.
Get change out of here.
Call everybody you know.
Here's my address book. You and Frank
call everyone on our street.
Maybe somebody can help us.
Hello? Hello?
Oh, she'll have to call you back.
This is ridiculous.
Only a wimp would be
hiding under a bed.
And I can't be a wimp.
I'm the man of the house.
Hey, I'm not afraid anymore!
I said, I'm not afraid anymore!
Do you hear me?
I'm not afraid anymore.
Village police department.
I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone.
I'd like somebody to go there. Tell
him that we're coming home to get him.
Okay, let me connect you
with Family Crisis Intervention.
Hold on.
Larry, can you pick up?
There's some hyper lady on hold.
- What line, Rose?
- Two.
Family Crisis Intervention,
Sergeant Balzac.
I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone.
Has the child been involved in
violence with a drunk family member?
No!
Has he been involved
in a household accident?
I don't know. I hope not.
Has the child ingested any poison
or is an object lodged in his throat?
No, he's home alone! I'd like
somebody to go over to the house...
...and see if he's all right.
You want us to go to your house,
just to check on him.
Yes!
Let me connect you to the police.
They just transferred me.
- Rose!
- Yeah.
- Hyper.
- Hang on.
- Hold on, please.
- No, please don't hang up. Please!
Any luck?
- I couldn't get anybody.
- Leslie?
Nothing but a bunch
of answering machines.
Somebody pick up. Pick up!
Oh, hi, ma'am. It's you again.
Look, I'm calling from Paris.
I have a son who's home alone, and l...
We'll send a policeman over
to your house to check on your son.
There's nobody home.
The house looks secure.
Tell them to count their kids