perfect.
Look at that. Pick a pair, any pair.
It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
We did pretty well for ourselves, huh?
We? Did you say "we"?
You know, you got a lot of brass balls,
you know that?
I do all the work, you take all the credit.
You know what your problem is? Your face.
- Yeah, right.
- Come on. Wise up, man.
You're too good-looking.
These girls go out with you
and they get nervous, man.
They feel dumpy.
They don't want to compete.
They want a guy like... Like me.
You know, a guy that's gonna
make them look good.
- Right. A basic Neanderthal type.
- Right. Your swarthy type.
A man's man. A kind of guy who's...
- Oozing testosterone?
- Exactly.
A young woman in today's society,
she wants a little bulk in her diet.
- Yeah, she wants a big guy who sweats.
- Yeah. Right.
Best thing that could happen to you, Danny,
is an industrial accident.
- You know...
- Excuse me.
You're not leaving, are you?
No, we're walking in backwards.
- I'm Debbie.
- Hi. Dan.
This is Joan, my roommate.
She specializes in unsolicited attacks.
Deb, we're going to Irving's, right?
It's a 4:00 dive for us Kamikaze pilots.
Right. I've been bombed there
a couple times myself.
Quit while you're ahead, okay? Deb.
- So...
- So...
So, I couldn't help noticing you
and noticing you noticing me.
There was a clock over your head.
- So...
- So...
I'll bet these have been put to a lot of use.
They work? Good.
'Cause I just got them today.
Shit. Shit.
- You don't have to run right off.
- Yes, I do.
It's really...
It's been a slice of heaven, all right?
I just have to go home.
It's a habit of mine. And...
- Here, I can turn on a light.
- No, no, no. That's all right.
Well, bye.
Yeah. Bye.
- Listen, I could give you a ride home.
- No. No, thanks. Really.
Bye. Thank you.
Thank you.
What are you doing out here?
I have this guy in my room. This big guy.
Real drunk. Real cute.
I mean, this guy is huge.
He's laying facedown,
kitty-corner on the bed
like a big old beached whale.
- Come on, you have to see.
- No.
No, he is dead drunk. He is out like a light.
It would take a crane to get him out.
Didn't I tell you?
So, did you have a nice evening?
Yes, I did,
and then I crawled away in shame.
Aren't we a couple of sluts?
I can't believe that I slept with him
on the first date.
There wasn't even a date.
Thank you.
I tell you, I couldn't help myself
because he is so gorgeous.
But can he type?
Well, I guess you'll have the bed to yourself.
But here's the shot.
She's got this fur-lined bed, right?
- What kind of fur?
- I don't know what kind of fur,
but it's fur, all right?
And the static electricity
that is being caused
is sending these little sparks
right to my nuts.
You know, I felt like a human jumper cable.
No shit.
- So, you score last night?
- Yeah.
Yeah, double headphone deal?
Yeah, right.
That chick, is she hot?
- Yeah, she was fun.
- Fun?
Fun? She was fun?
Yeah, she...
Have you ever done it in a plane?
Yeah. Yeah, I once nailed
two stewardesses in a 747 at 35,000 feet.
You know what? It was fun.
I had a fun time.
Favio. Are you ready for this?
- Yeah. Yeah, cheap son of a bitch.
- Are you ready?
Come on, you haven't ordered silverware
in over six months.
Are your customers eating with their toes?
- Throw in a plastic steak marker.
- Look, I'll throw in a plastic steak marker.
If some kid throws up on them, man,
you don't have to worry about it.
- Push the French fries.
- Yeah. Yeah...
- French fries. French fries.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're fabulous.
I'm sure you're gonna love them.
Okay. Okay. Sure.
No, anything you want for a deal.
Hello?
Hello.
Hello. Debbie?
Who's this?
It's Dan. Dan Martin.
From last night.
Yeah. Look, I wanted to talk to you
about last night.
What an amazing coincidence.
That's what I'm calling about. Last night.
Listen, I was pretty drunk last night.
Did anything happen?
No. Absolutely