are out of your minds.
Brad, is that all you ever think about?
One week. All right?
Even if I get away with this
without getting arrested,
the best that can happen
is we'll become girlfriends.
Let's give this one a shot.
Stop staring at me.
I'm sorry. You're very lucky.
You got the kind of face
that can go both ways.
Let's try some makeup.
See? Jackie left a diagram.
Number one, foundation.
Number two,
blusher for the little cheekbones...
Stop.
Hey, watch it. Girls don't do that.
They sip from a glass.
Like this.
Good.
And they take teeny, tiny bites.
Like this.
And they laugh like a canary.
Trilling up and down the scale. Like this.
That's good. Okay, check out the walk.
Hips sway.
Yeah. Pelvis tilts.
And we sit with our ankles crossed.
And we smile seductively.
And we say things like,
"Oh, what a totally rad set of wheels."
"Oh, what a totally rad set of wheels."
- That's it.
- Very nice.
Who did you use for your role model?
Queen Elizabeth?
All right, let's get started.
First, the underwear.
You're not serious.
What's he gonna put in it?
I am so ahead of you.
That's my girl. You think of everything.
- My legs feel bald.
- Yeah, but they look great.
- Can't we do this another day?
- Can't. Today's the tennis tryouts.
- So where do I go?
- Locker room to change, of course.
Which locker room?
The girls' locker room?
- Where else?
- Oh, my God!
Look, if anybody asks,
you just say you're an exchange student
from Switzerland.
- Switzerland.
- Yeah.
- How do I look?
- Very, very good.
Good luck.
Excuse me.
Stephanie!
- Hey, Andy.
- Yo, what's up?
Think girl!
Are you looking for a locker?
I think there's a free one
down at the end there.
Thank you.
See you later.
Excuse me.
Hi.
- Hi.
Elsie Gonzalez.
- Excuse me.
- Sure.
Thank you.
Thanks a lot, Elsie.
Stephanie Brown. Stephanie Brown.
That's you.
Stephanie Brown. That's me.
Okay, Stephanie, let's see a few serves
and a few backhands, okay?
My racquet.
Shit.
Okay, now show us your backhand.
Great. Forehand.
Oh, great.
She's weird, but she's terrific.
She's great!
- That's fine, Stephanie.
- Thanks.
I used to wear those things.
You'll get over it. Tits are not everything.
Congratulations. You made the team.
Thank you.
Nice work. Come here. Let's talk.
Where did you learn to play like that?
Oh, in the barrio.
What do you think of the new girl?
She's amazing. She's terrific.
Maxie. Yeah. It's me.
You know that nickel
I laid on Bramson girls for Saturday?
Can you lay off an extra grand?
You made the team,
we are into phase one.
- So...
- Stephanie. Hi.
I'm Shelly Anderson.
- Ich know.
- What?
You do?
I watch you mit the tennis gespielen.
What?
Stephanie, could I talk to you
for a minute? Alone?
Could you excuse us?
Nimrod.
Stop talking like a Wiener schnitzel.
You are an American exchange student.
- Sorry.
- It's okay. Okay.
See you, Stephanie.
Bye.
So what were you saying?
What happened to your accent?
Oh, that's just a joke. I was fooling...
Well, I just...
I wanted to welcome you to the team.
I thought your playing was intense.
Thanks.
- I'm really jealous of you.
- You are?
Yeah, you have an incredible backhand.
- Thanks.
- It's one of my weak spots.
You don't seem to have too many.
No, it's true. My backhand's terrible.
Forehand's pretty good.
You know something?
We'd make a great doubles team.
What do you think?
You and me, doubles team.
- Sure. Sounds good.
- Great.
- Let's go for coffee. We can talk about it.
- Okay.
So what are you majoring in?
God, you're beautiful.
Huh?
I'm just, I'm just one of those people
who, you know,
says exactly what they're thinking.
That's okay. I think my ears are too big.
I'm really self-conscious about them.
But, hey, what are looks anyway?
Everything.
That's my boyfriend, Brad.
Isn't he cute?
Well, he certainly is
large.
- Hi, babe.
- Hi, Brad.
Brad, this is Stephanie.