just stand there! Head it in!
Stop... that... ball!
Goal!
Game's over. I win.
Let me give you a hand, matey.
That's quite all right, Your Majesty.
Thank you so much.
Please, let me help you
on with your robe.
Why, yes. Thank you.
Can't have you
catching cold, sire, can we?
Why, no.
Have you ever heard of something
called the gypsy switch?
No, can't say that I have.
Remind me to
tell you about it some time.
I can't tell you when
we've had such a good time.
We'll carry your memory
in our hearts for a long while.
I think it's time to leave.
Must you go?
Must be dashing. Marvellous game.
Lovely to see you. Goodbye.
Friendly lot.
Don't mind them visiting.
Wouldn't want them living here.
- Come along, children.
- Hurry up.
Stop gibbering!
What's the matter with you?
Your Royal Star!
They've stolen your Royal Star!
Don't be ridiculous.
What do you think this is?
Why didn't you say so?
Paul, put the knob on the bed.
At last the magic words.
Treguna mekoides trecorum satis dee.
I'll keep it.
Women always lose things.
- Hurry, Paul! The knob!
- It's stuck!
- I suppose I'd better do something.
- Please do. Quick.
Got it.
Filigree, apogee, pedigree...
Oh, bother. I do hate shoddy work.
I shall never get used to this thing.
Will you push the bed
back into place, please?
I think we could all
do with a nice cup of tea.
No time. I've gone to a lot
of trouble to find this spell.
I'm going to try it immediately.
Mr Browne, kindly let me
have your shoes, please.
- Fine.
- What's the shoes for?
If you'd been paying attention
I should think you'd be aware
that substitutiary locomotion is the art
of causing inanimate objects
to take on a life force of their own.
I must have inanimate objects
to experiment with.
Makes sense, don't it?
Stand back, everyone.
I need plenty of room.
I want you all
to be absolutely quiet.
Mr Browne, you have
the Star of Astoroth, I believe.
Oh, yes. It's in my nice clean hanky.
It's all right, Mr Browne.
I should have realised
that it would be impossible
to take an object
from one world into another.
If only I would have had the sense
to remember the words on that star.
- I know the words.
- Don't bother her. She's thinking.
Why don't you and I nip out
and get something for supper?
And I might conceivably
call into the pub for a pint
to steady my nerves.
I do know the words, Miss Price.
How can you know the words
when Miss Price doesn't?
Troop movements and massing
of barges in French and Dutch ports.
The prime minister
has told the nation
to be on the alert for signs
of a possible invasion.
That was the news.
I might have been able
to do something about this.
It's out of your hands now, my dear.
If only I could have remembered
those words. It's maddening.
Why don't someone ask me?
Come off it, Paul. You can't remember
those kind of words.
You mean like ''Treguna mekoides
trecorum satis dee''?
- How do you know that?
- Easy.
Says so right here in my book.
You mean it was there
in your book all the time?
Yeah. But nobody ever listens to me.
Treguna mekoides
trecorum satis dee.
Nothing happened!
Am I doing something wrong?
Well, it does seem
a bit old-fashioned.
After all, we are
in the 20th century.
- What do you suggest?
- It needs rhythm. Tempo.
Music.
As I always say, do it with a flair.
- Do you mind if I have a go?
- Of course not.
Come along, you lot!
We need all the help we can get.
Treguna mekoides trecorum satis dee.
Substitutiary locomotion
Mystic power that's far
beyond the wildest notion
It's so weird, so feared,
yet wonderful to see
Substitutiary locomotion come to me
Now!
Treguna mekoides
trecorum satis dee.
I don't want locomotiary substitution
Or remote intransecory convolution
Only one precise solution is the key
Substitutiary locomotion it must be
Substitutiary locomotion