Eglantine
Oh, how you'll shine
Your lot and my lot
have got to combine
Eglantine, Eglantine
Hark to the stars
Destiny calls us
The future is ours
As the shine sells the boot
and the blossoms the fruit
All you need to succeed
in your plan
Is the proper ally
upon whom to rely
And I'm your man
For I have an acumen
that's nigh superhuman
I sell things
that nobody can
So I humbly suggest
you accept my behest
I'm your man
- Eglantine, Eglantine, oh, how you'll shine
- Mr. Browne!
- Mr. Browne, will you please stop it?
- Your lot and my lot
- Have got to combine Eglantine, Eglantine
- Mr. Browne!
- Do you hear me?
- Hark to the stars
- Destiny calls us, the future is ours
- Mr. Browne, I'm warning you.
With my expert pantomiming
The proper taste
and timing
I'll introduce you
in the manner grand
I'll whet their appetite
for you
I'll set the scene
so right for you
We'll have the beggars
eating out of your hand
As the words
sell the tune
And the moonbeams
the moon
All you need to succeed
in your plan
Is a champion
reared with a flourish
And a flair
And I'm your man
Do stop prancing about.
There's serious work
to be done.
I have always had a bit
of a knack for witchcraft
Common spells and simple charms
came naturally
So when the war began
I conjured up a plan
To do my bit
in the national emergency
I enrolled in your
Correspondence College of Witchcraft
And I slaved at every lesson
as it came
But the spell I counted on
is the lesson that is gone
It's disappeared
and you're the one to blame
Your suggestions are rash
and your manner is brash
And I've no time to waste
Mr. Browne
If I am to proceed
it's that book that I need
Don't let me down
But if you'll see me through
I'll discuss it with you
Though I've no taste
for playing the clown
If I meet with success
then I might acquiesce
I won't let you down
Eglantine, Eglantine
Oh, how you'll shine
Your lot and my lot
have got to combine
Eglantine, Eglantine
Hark to the stars
Destiny calls us
The future
Mr. Browne, I'm warning you!
I warned you, Mr. Browne.
Now, where is the book?
Well, where is it?
At last, Mr. Browne!
The Spells of Astoroth.
Of course.
Oh, here's the traveling spell.
This is where you got it.
Does one's nose
have to twitch like this?
Oh, you're back,
Mr. Browne.
Miss Price, a word
about your tactics.
I don't mind being changed into
a hawk or a tiger or something
with a bit of dash to it,
but always a fluffy, white rabbit-
it's intolerable!
Ah, here we are.
Substitutiary locomotion.
"The ancient art of..."
etcetera.
"The spell which creates
this force...
is five mystic words.
These words are..."
But the rest of the book
is missing!
Now you see why
I closed down the college.
- But where are the other pages?
- I haven't the foggiest.
- Listen to me, Mr. Browne!
- I'm all ears.
You will be if you don't pay attention.
Where did you get this book?
Oh, I bought it from a chap
in the street market.
There was a bit of unpleasantness,
as a matter of fact.
He claimed that I'd given him
a dud coin, I ask you.
There was a sort of scuffle.
The book tore.
He got one half and I got the other.
- Where's the other half now?
- Oh, it's probably been thrown away.
- But if it still exists, there's
only one place to find it.
- Where is that?
Portobello Road
Portobello Road
Street where the riches
of ages are stowed
Anything and everything
a chap can unload
Is sold off the barrow
in Portobello Road
You'll find what you want
in the Portobello Road
- Rare alabaster
- Genuine plaster
A filigreed samovar
owned by the czars
- A pen used by Shelley
- A new Botticelli
The snippers that clipped
old King Edward's cigars
Made in Hong Kong.
Two bob a dozen, would you say?
- Waterford crystal
- Napoleon's pistols
Society heirlooms
with genuine gems
Rembrandts, El Grecos
Toulouse "Lautrecos"
Painted last week
on the banks of the Thames
Very