rode it like it was.
- That baby was bred for packin'.
- Honey, you're a stud. You look great on that horse.
- Here he comes.
- Where's our pal? Where is he?
Oh, my gosh! Hi, honey.
He lost his mount.
How ya doin', trooper?
Where's that ball-slappin' nag
you were ridin'?
- He looks a little worse for wear, doesn't he?
- You okay, Dad?
- I'm okay.
- Did that horse buck you off?
What happened? You got hungry
and had to eat the nag, huh?
- Let's go home. I think I'll go home.
- You go home?
- Home? We've got a whole day of activities planned.
- A little nap.
- No, come on!
- Oh, yeah.
- I'm fine. A little nap.
- Hey!
Yeah, I know muskie's a big deal
to fish in these waters,
but you come with me up to the Norfolk
Canyon off the coast of Virginia,
I'll strap you into a fishing chair and
let you hook into a 1,000 pound blue marlin.
Buddy, you're gonna know what fishing's
all about with a capital "f."
Excuse my brother-in-law. He gets a couple
cocktails, he becomes an expert on everything.
I don't need cocktails for that.
Was that a shot?
- No, that was the truth.
- That was a shot!
That was a shot.
Speaking of shots,
set us up.
This guy's a riot.
- Isn't he, though?
- Everybody loves him.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Herm, you make a lot
of tips on this job?
- I do all right.
- Who's handling your investments?
My wife's got
some egg money put aside.
But she's a real bear.
Won't give it up to me.
Yeah. Well, I'll take her
phone number. I'll change that.
- That's what I do for a living. Investments is what I do!
- How ya doin'?
Well-well-well, it-it-it-it,
it ain't, it ain't,
It ain't r-r-rainin'.
It ain't r-r-rainin'
so-so that-that's good.
Yeah, I guess so.
- You fellows met Reg?
- I don't think so. How ya doin'?
Roman Craig.
Pleased to meet you.
- Chet Ripley. How do you do?
- Quite a hairdo you got goin'.
- That a neo-skunk thing or...
- Roman, what are you doing?
- He's got the hair!
- You don't have to say anything.
His hair turned white
'cause lightning hit him.
He's been struck by lightning,
how many times is it, Reg?
- S-s-s-s-s-s... six.
- Six times!
S-s-s-s six-six-six-six
sixty-sixty-six times...
in th-th-th-th,
in th-th-th-th-th-th,
in the head!
Sixty-six times!
God!
That's gotta hurt!
You'll never meet a guy more tuned in
to the barometric pressure than Reg is.
You see him runnin' like hell
for home, you head for cover.
Right, Reg?
You pay for the drinks. I gotta go
to the john. I'll be right back.
- Introduce Mr. Thick Dick to Mr. Urinal Cake.
- Roman, do you have to be...
What I really want to say
is... thank you.
This is very important to Roman
and me. I miss you, Connie.
Oh, honey.
It's so lonely being wealthy.
I wouldn't know
about that.
No, no! I mean it, honey!
I mean it. It is lonely.
He works terrible hours.
Travels.
There'll be times we'll go a month
without going to bed together.
Really? A month?
That long?
Mm-hmm. Sometimes I think
the only way i'll get any pleasure...
is by leaning against the washer
during the spin cycle.
Does that really work?
Have you ever seen
whiter whites?
- When do you go back to Chicago?
- Um, three days.
You know, I've never had a boyfriend
for longer than two weeks.
Get outta here.
- That's why I was such a bitch to you that first night.
- No, you weren't a bitch.
- Yes, yes, I was!
- It's no big deal. Don't worry about it.
That's why I don't understand
what I'm doing here with you.
Look, I've never even had
a girlfriend.
I've dated girls,
but, you know,
I never had one
I'd call my girlfriend.
- What would you call me?
- Officially?
Ahem.
Girlfriend?
And you're leaving
in three days.
- See what I mean?
- Yeah.
- Well?
- Well what?
- What, what, what, what?
- It touched me!
- It's been touching you for 12 years! You never freaked!
- Not you!
- A thing!
- What thing?
What's goin' on? Jesus!
What is it? What is it?
That thing!
- It's... just a