stinky.
- Come on.
- What are you doing?
- We got the house to ourselves.
- I don't care!
Don't do this here.
Let's go to the bedroom.
Why? That's the great thing
about being in the North Woods.
- What are you feeding me now?
- Come on!
You can run around here naked as a bear
and not worry about running into anybody.
- Is that right? Really?
- Yes.
You think it's possible that we
could play fashion parade?
- I don't wanna play fashion parade.
- Why?
- You get to wear the good outfits!
- I'll let you wear 'em.
You will be...
Shelana!
Shelana,
the oak tree woman.
- Oh, I love it when I'm the oak tree woman!
- Temptress of the woods.
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes!
And I will be... Burt.
A guy named Burt.
I love it when you're Burt.
Or I could be
Smokey's cousin, Horny.
- He has endurance.
- Yes, he does.
Anybody home?
Shelana the wood's temptress?
With Horny the Bear,
Smokey's cousin?
Okay, okay.
- Turn that off. Turn it off.
- No, Chester, you said it.
Do it on the floor.
Beautiful shot.
Hey, that's all right.
Game playing, role playing. Helps in
a marriage after a little while.
Turn the damn thing off!
Turn it off.
That was quite a surprise.
You got me.
And the whole week
you'll be here!
Okay.
Oh, wow!
Just somethin'.
So, anyway,
you're an intelligent man.
Thank you.
- You make a good living.
- Not bad.
- You got a good life!
- Pretty good.
Answer me one question. Why the hell
would you want to come up to...
a plant-infested no-man's-land like this
and live like a barbarian for a week?
You wouldn't understand.
Try me.
I have great memories of this country when
I was a kid and used to come up with my dad...
and I want the boys to have
the same memories.
Look around you! For God sakes,
this is beautiful country!
- Take a good look.
- I'll tell you what I see when I look if you wanna know.
Yeah, I'm... curious.
I see the underdeveloped resources of
Northern Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan.
I see a syndicated development consortium
exploiting over $1 billion in forest products.
I see a paper mill, and, if the strategic
metals are there, a mining operation.
A green belt between the condos on the
lake and a waste management facility...
focusing on the newest rage
in toxic waste, medical refuge:
infected bandages, body parts,
i.v. tubing, contaminated glassware,
fluid, blood, low-grade radioactive
wastes, all safely contained,
sunken in the lake
and sealed for centuries.
Now, I ask you...
what do you see?
I just see...
uh, trees.
- Well, no one ever accused you of having a grand vision.
- Nope.
Maybe it's all for the best. While the
ambitious scramble for wealth and power,
the Chet Ripleys of the world
are just able to lay back...
and casually stroll
along life's path.
- I mean that as a compliment.
- Oh, thanks.
The rest of us are all probably gonna die
of heart attacks and strokes long before ya.
I hope so!
Wouldn't that be great?
Gee, just to see a bunch
of people drop that you hate.
That would be something else,
I'm tellin' you.
My goodness!
My goodness me!
I'm gonna walk down
life's path right now.
Ah, get the barbecue goin',
get some hot dogs on there.
Wait a minute. No way.
Wait a hot-shit minute.
Rule one: no relative of mine
is gonna eat hot dogs...
as long as he's sharin'
my cabin. Katie!
Do you sense the presence
of an alien life-form?
- Now that you mention it, I do kinda sense somethin'.
- Yeah, I thought so.
Ah, shit!
Did I tell you what we did in the
euro-currency futures market last week?
- Probably.
- I thought I mentioned how we picked up...
a Deutsch marks contract, sat on it a
week, sold it, taking a 300 percent profit.
Well, easy money
is money easily lost.
I can't believe how dangerously
old-fashioned your thinking is.
300 percent profit, huh?
Sometimes it's 200 percent,
sometimes 100 percent.
- Take the good with the bad.
- Huh.
Yeah. Still that's pretty good.
The point of the