boy!
-- Yeah! Quint! Hi!
--John!
Watch it! Ooh. Sorry, hon.
-- [Whispers ]
Oh, my God.
--Don't worry. It's only wine.
Just rub some salt on it.
It'll come out.
Oh, oh.
I mean, it's not like I ruined it.
[ Sighs ]
Oh.
Damn it.
Now, for the same price, I can sell you
this five--inch telescope.
-- Oh, it's only five inches.
-- Well, it has an optical inverter.
-- Hmm.
-- Take a look. Take a look.
It gives you an erect image
rather than upside--down.
Hmm. Yeah.Ah,yes!
I see the erection.
I'll be right back.
I'll wrap it up
for you, Ronald.
Yes, I, I relate
to your dilemma, miss. I really do.
But we have a policy of no exchanges,
especially after a garment
has been marinated in Ripple?
All right, now, I will
compromise, all right?
Um, I, I will work here after school
and on weekends----
Would you listen to me?
I will work here after school
and on weekends,
and all you need to do
is give me a replacement
outfit as an advance.
-- Listen, honey.
-- What?
I'll repeat your alternatives
one last time.
You can keep your outfit
and dye the rest of it cranberry.
-- Or you can purchase a new one.
-- [ Sighs ]
Would you please help me?
I will do anything.
-- [ Sobs ]
-- Tsk. It's not that bad.
-- What are you talking about?
Are you high?
-- I want to rent you.
You want to rent me?
Yeah. You pretend you like me,
and we go out for just a few weeks...
and that will make me popular.
Just going out with me
is not gonna make you popular.
Well, I have $1,000
that says it will.
I think you've mowed
one too many lawns.
You're right.
Tsk.
I believe we have decided
against purchasing the outfit.
Donald!
Oh! You made it!
-- I was afraid you
weren't gonna meet me.
-- Mellow out, Donald.
I said 8:05. I'm here, right?
Relax, anyway. It's only school.
Yeah, well, this is not
my average opening day.
I'm about to walk
the cool hallway.
-- I usually go the long route
through the library.
-- Would you ease up?
I mean, I'm the one
who's gonna have to hold
a press conference...
when we're seen
together, right?
-- Right.
-- Okay, now let's get this deal
straight one more time.
Um, we only pretend to hang, right?
Uh, no hand holding, no kissing!
And I get my lunch hour off.
That's not our deal.
I need more return on my investment.
Well, there's no way
I'm holding your hand in public.
-- I mowed 286 miles for you.
-- Okay, one lunch.
There are five days
in a school week.
-- All right, Donald, two lunches.
-- Three lunches.
-- And the pep rally on Friday.
-- Four lunches. That's it!
Okay, deal. Now, just remember,
this is our sworn secret
for life or longer.
-- You promise.
-- Yeah, yeah. I promise.
Anyway, how bad could it be, right?
It's only for one week.
No, no, it's one month. One month.
Yeah, I know. Okay, one month.
-- Okay.
-- Okay.
Now if I'm gonna do this
for one day, we have to do
something about your style.
I mean, it's like nonexistent.
Okay? Take off that hat.
[ can Hissing ]
And... rub that in.
[ Sighs ]
Okay, um, take off those glasses.
Here you go.
Let me take a look at you.
[ Grunts ]
[ Sighs ]
Nope. Turn around.
[Whispers ]
Oh, sh----
Okay, here you go. Your sleeve.
-- [ Chuckles ]
-- Don't worry about it. You look fine.
Turn around and back up.
-- Yes, yes, big improvement.
-- Yes.
Okay, Donald, we're ready.
-- Oh, Cindy, one last thing.
-- Yeah?
My name is Ronald, not Donald.
-- Let's do it.
-- That's right. Let's do it.
Should I put my collar up?
-- Hey, dude!
-- Hey, man.
[ Girls Laughing ]
[ Girl ]
Really?
[ Boy ]
What's happenin' homes?
[John ]
If we win a basketball trophy,
put it down there.
-- We want ours to be all alone.
-- Man, look at----
-- Who's the dick with ears?
-- Oh, yeah, man. It's
that wimp ass Miller guy.
-- I don't get it.
-- It must be for charity.
-- I think that's Ronald Miller.
-- No way!
It must be a... transfer.
Wrong, and I think I'm puking.
Hi, Pats,