knew it was me, did you?
You're wrong. Because I'm not me.
I'm actually...
I can't. I can't reach over the hat.
I'd rehearse back at ACME,
but I never wore the hat.
And now the hat is throwing me off.
Would you...
Thank you very much. Now, I'm actually...
Your father.
- Dad.
- Saw that one coming.
Look into your heart, D.J.
- You know it's true.
- No, it can't be true.
You're right, it isn't.
Let's do some drills.
This doesn't make a lick of sense.
Well, who's laughing now?
Apparently, no one.
Anyway, give me the Monkey!
No, forget that, man. You're evil.
Thank you, but...
Anyway, Mr. Smith,
let's show this muscle-bound beefcake...
who I have sometimes been mistaken for...
what it's like to live in the real world.
Have you ever been disintegrated in one
place and then reassembled in another?
Fire away.
No, you don't!
I thought they fixed that glitch.
Mr. Smith is fired!
I have to do everything myself
around here.
- Good.
- You...
Henchmen.
Dad.
So this is the remote that works.
This, my friend,
is the ACME Train of Death...
which is not good news for your father.
Don't worry about me, son.
I've gotten out of worse scrapes
than this one.
You see, if the Train of Death
doesn't kill him...
then those crates of TNT will.
Not to mention
the 2-ton anvil hanging over his head.
And look. There's the Pendulum of Doom.
What's the Pendulum of Doom
doing there? I did not order it.
It's overkill. Get rid of it.
Now, if you want to
keep your family "together"...
I would hand over the Blue Monkey now.
Don't worry, son. I'm fine.
- You're a sick man, you know that?
- Get used to it.
Excuse me? What about my father?
- He's waiting for a train.
- What? You...
Where's Marvin the Martian?
All right, here is the Blue Monkey.
Go put it on the satellite. Go!
No, you don't, eight ball.
You'd never catch that rabbit
being this heroic.
- What's up, doc?
- You're despicable.
Vandals.
Your friends' efforts will prove to be futile.
You see, here is the Blue Monkey,
here is the ACME satellite.
When the Blue Monkey
is finally docked in the satellite...
I will transmit a beam around the world...
which will transform
everyone but me into monkeys.
Now take them away!
Don't you think that'll get lonely...
Mr. All My Friends Swing from Trees
and Pick Fleas Out of Their Furry Butts?
Lonely? I suppose I could use
a little human companionship.
Thanks a lot.
I've seen you notice me.
I know I'm hot.
But I prefer someone
with a little more oomph.
I prefer Mary!
Hello, Mary.
We're a cute couple, don't you think?
Take those future simians away
and lower the Monkey shield.
Earthlings have
the worst sense of direction.
What do you know, he fell for it.
I guess I owe you $5.
Did you order satellite?
I don't even have cable.
You know, when I fired that duck...
I never would have seen this coming.
Gotta be a way out of this.
You can get out of this, son.
You've just got to set your mind to it.
Besides, I'm hearing my dad's voice
in my head.
Actually, I'm down here, son.
Hold on, Dad, I'll be right down!
That was too easy.
What was that noise, son?
- You know how I always wanted a dog?
- Yeah?
I just got one.
Wait. Maybe he wants to play fetch.
- Nice mechanical doggy.
- Good dog. Want to play?
Good boy. Fetch!
It looks to be
a deadly mission requiring strength...
cunning and nerves of steel.
So good luck, Bugsy,
I'll keep the engine running.
You tricked me!
What's up, Darth?
Now I must incapacitate you
with my bubble gun.
Ain't that cute?
Of course you realize this means war.
You go that way. I'm gonna go this way.
Bad dog! Sit!
I don't want to put you
under any added pressure...
but judging by the vibrations
of these train tracks, I've got about...
one minute and forty-two seconds left.
Down! Put him down.
What am I gonna do?
What would Damian Drake do?
What would Duck Dodgers do?
Wait a