the dinner table
is the proper place...
to talk about the size of Derek's pee pistol.
Do you always have to be
the guardian of good taste?
- Paula, am I offending you?
- Well, no.
- There. You see?
- She's being polite.
After all, what can she say?
Annie, isn't it quicker
to come by Riker's Tunnel...
instead of the interstate?
Say something about it. Don't just nod.
- Yes, it's quicker.
- Hold it!
I have an announcement to make.
I'd like to say something.
Go ahead, Richard.
I don't know if this is the appropriate time
to say this or not.
But I don't know if there's ever really
an appropriate time to say this.
But we'd like to...
Paula and I, we'd like to say...
- We'd like to tell you...
- You don't have to. I can guess!
- You're engaged!
- I told you, Mother!
Who's engaged?
They're engaged!
- They're engaged!
- Hold it.
We're not engaged. We're married.
What a surprise.
I hope you're pleased.
Of course we're pleased.
It's just that we're just taken aback...
- you understand?
- I understand.
It must feel very funny hearing about it
after we've already done it.
I think it's wonderful.
It's like the life cycle.
As someone dies, a baby is born.
I'm getting divorced,
you're getting married.
Out with the old, in with the new.
Mother, now don't you think
it's wonderful?
Well, our dinner's getting cold.
Why don't we all just eat up?
Don't any of the windows open
in this place?
I don't know. The whole condominium
is temperature-controlled.
I just need some air.
There's not enough air in this place.
I just need a little.
A little air.
What are you mumbling about?
I can't breathe.
Didn't you have any oxygen
when you were growing up?
- What is your problem?
- I don't know.
- I'm just tired.
- Yeah?
Oh, God, I'm tired. I'm sorry, honey.
Have you noticed
that you're tired on a queen-size bed?
I mean, my family,
people of this house, they sleep together.
They just have to take turns breathing.
Yes?
Mom, please.
Someday you're gonna thank me for this.
- Paula, are there any wedding pictures?
- No, Mrs. Babson.
Something has to be recorded.
This could be the most important time
of your life together.
Mother likes
to record every moment possible.
- Grandma!
- All right, dear.
They want to know if they can play
video games till it's time to go to bed.
Well, we wanna spend...
This is not a great time.
- It's fine. They can come right in.
- Thank you.
- Can I borrow Richard for a second?
- Fine.
I want to talk to him about something.
Now, I don't want you boys
bothering Paula, you hear?
Okay.
- Gonna be okay, honey?
- Your turn's over.
I'm fine. Just fine.
Dang!
Where are the pinwheel cookies?
Daddy hides them from the kids.
They're over the fridge.
I love pinwheel cookies.
You know, you can't get these out in L.A.
What did you do that for?
I'm so furious with you, I'm beside myself!
What's wrong?
How dare you deny us the opportunity
of seeing our only son get married!
No warning. No chance to do anything,
to send you anything.
Not a present, not a card.
Not a phone call to wish you well!
Your father's so upset,
he's out playing cards.
He plays cards every night.
Well, he went early tonight.
He's absolutely heartbroken.
I wouldn't take it too lightly if I were you.
The man's getting old.
- Mother.
- No, don't touch me.
I'll be fine. I just need some time.
Oh, my God.
Hello.
Who's calling? Who?
Just a minute.
It's for you. Larry somebody.
Hello, Larry.
What do you mean, where am I?
You called me.
Excuse me.
You're in New York?
Look, we'll be back in L.A. on Sunday.
Sunday?
Does he know you just got married?
Larry, they're not gonna shoot the scene...
- Just tell him you're on your honeymoon.
- Another week.
No, we're not gonna cut
our vacation short!
We'll rewrite it when we get back.
Goodbye, Larry.
You're on your honeymoon.
How am I gonna get a party together
by Sunday?
We don't want a party, Mother.