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afternoon with your father.
That was just old age.
Father Time has a way of
just beating the shit out of us.
You're right.
Paula?
I've gone blind.
Honey?
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.
How do I look?
Great.
Turtle soup.
- What a wonderful story.
- What do you mean?
Your dad's story about turtle soup.
It'd be great in one of our scripts.
He'll recognize it.
- I don't think so. He'll be very hurt.
- Maybe you're right.
- I feel very bad about tonight.
- Honey, it's just a simple party.
- It's no big thing.
- It's not the party, it's you.
I'm fine. Everything is fine, really.
- Hurry up! Party's already started.
- Coming!
- Let's go.
- Tell me what's the matter.
It'll only take a second
before we go down and see everyone.
Nothing's the matter.
I think it's time for a toast.
This is it? This is the anniversary party?
I think you'll like the champagne, Richard.
Upstate New York, tough little grape.
Thank you, sir, and congratulations.
We're flattered to be on your guest list.
You know, Richard...
I always found that parties where
you have guests are such a nuisance.
I'd like to toast two of
the most wonderful people in my life.
Thank you for everything.
I love you.
I think there can be
nothing more fitting on this...
our 40th wedding anniversary than to...
welcome in the next generation
of loving couples.
So, here's to
our wonderful daughter, Paula...
and her husband, Richard.
May you be as happy
in your next 40 years together...
as Ellie and I have been in ours.
And success with your new play.
It's a movie, Mother.
It's so big.
Biggest condominium in Virginia, honey.
Eighteen thousand people,
all under one roof.
Really?
God, I wish you would've
told your parents we got married.
I'll tell them, honey. I'm waiting
for the right moment, that's all.
- I'm gonna tell them.
- Okay.
I'm nervous.
Of course you're nervous,
but they're nice people.
You're gonna like them right away,
and they'll love you.
Here we are.
I'll get it! Just a second!
- I'll get it!
- Oh, my God. It's my mother.
- Close your eyes.
- What?
- Hi, Mom!
- Hello!
- Come on, Paula.
- My baby!
- It's so good to see you.
- Mama, this is Paula.
Well, it's about time!
- Nice to see you.
- Look at that pretty little thing.
Richard, let me tell you right off.
Your sister's here with the kids.
- Nellie's here, great!
- Not so great. She's moved in.
She and Derek,
I don't think they'll make it.
Derek is Nellie's third husband.
Why didn't you tell me Nellie was here?
We would've stayed at a hotel.
Don't be silly,
there's a convertible sofa in the den.
I trust you two sleep together.
Tom! Richard's here!
Nellie, where are you?
Boys, come on.
Give your Uncle Richard a big kiss!
Uncle Richard, oh, my God!
- How are you?
- I'm fine.
This is Paula.
Paula, I'm so pleased to meet you!
I've heard so much about you.
Everybody hold still.
Tell me something, Richard,
which way did you come?
Did you go east to Syracuse
and then down 91?
Across the 270 and on to the beltway?
- From Buffalo?
- Yeah.
No, Pop, we got on
the New York State Thruway...
then we got on 67, came right on in here.
You didn't use the access road off of 70
and cross Leesburg Pike?
No.
I used to be with
the Federal Department of Transportation.
I was with them for 36 years.
I made all those access roads.
As a matter of fact, that's why you should
use access roads after 4:00 p.m.
You do away with bottlenecks.
The traffic moves right along.
And you don't pay tolls.
When are we gonna see this movie
that you and Richard wrote?
As I was saying, before we had to sit down
to dinner, the man never stopped talking.
He just went on and on.
- You never pay tolls.
- I pay tolls.
If there'd been some compensation...
That's my word for the year.
..pensation in bed
might have been more palatable.
But I'm telling you, he had a pee pistol
the size of Robbie's here. Like that.
Nellie, I don't think
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