s too big.
They'll never get through.
How will they get the air out?
I don't see any hoses or anything.
What's happening?
The ship. Changing.
Oh, my gosh. It's not just a spaceship.
It's a transformer.
It's changing into...
- A gigantic...
- Maid!
With a vacuum cleaner.
So that's how they're gonna get the air out.
Metamorphosis completed, sir.
Spaceball One has now become...
Megamaid.
- Good!
- Remarkable.
Now, commence Operation Vacu-Suck.
Suck.
Goodbye, little Vespa.
My little baby Vespa.
- The air bag, it's almost full.
- What do we do?
We've gotta act fast.
Step one: We reverse the vacuum
and blow the air back onto the planet.
Step two: We destroy that thing.
- But isn't that dangerous?
- Extremely.
Plus, I don't know
how the hell we're gonna do it.
What about that ring Yogurt gave you?
Come on, boss. Give it a shot!
Okay. Here goes nothing.
Look at that.
Wow!
It's working.
Come on, Schwartz!
- Helmet, what's going on?
- Sandurz, what's going on?
It's Megamaid.
She's gone from suck to blow.
What? They're getting all their air back.
Do something.
- Do something!
- Do something!
I'm breathing.
Air.
- Dim the lights.
- Dimming the lights.
- Go to infrared.
- Going to infrared.
- Pray to God.
- Praying to God.
Careful.
- What are you doing?
- Scanning.
There's gotta be a self-destruct mechanism
somewhere in the central brain area.
I think we just found it.
- Where?
- Watch.
Bingo! There it is.
It's right below us.
- Put her in hover, Barf.
- Putting her in hover.
- I'm going down there.
- He's going down there.
I wouldn't.
What the hell are you doing?
The Vulcan neck pinch?
No, stupid. You got it much too high.
It's down here
where the shoulder meets the neck.
- Like this?
- Yeah.
Thanks.
Hand print identification, please.
Thanks again.
Is that you, Mylar?
Who are you? What are you doing with that?
This!
Sweet dreams.
- Not so fast, Lone Starr.
- Helmet.
So. At last we meet for the first time
for the last time.
Before you die, there is something
you should know about us, Lone Starr.
What?
I am your father's brother's nephew's
cousin's former roommate.
What's that make us?
Absolutely nothing!
Which is what you are about to become.
Prepare to die.
You have the ring,
and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
Now let's see how well you handle it.
- He did it.
- What?
Shit! I hate it
when I get my Schwartz twisted.
Maybe if I put my leg up on yours,
we could scoot apart, like...
Good. Yeah, on three. One, two, three, go!
So, Lone Starr, Yogurt has taught you well.
If there's one thing I despise,
it is a fair fight.
But if I must, then I must.
May the best man win.
Put her there.
The ring! I can't believe
you fell for the oldest trick in the book.
What a goof!
What's with you, man? Come on.
You know what?
Here, let me give it back to you.
Look at that! You fell for that, too.
I can't believe it, man.
So, Lone Starr, now you see
that evil will always triumph...
because good is dumb.
Very impressive, Lone Starr.
Too bad this isn't the Wide World of Sports.
Use the Schwartz, Lone Starr.
Use the Schwartz.
I can't. I lost the ring.
Forget the ring. The ring is bupkis.
I found it in a Cracker Jack box.
The Schwartz is in you, Lone Starr.
It's in you.
All right. I'll try.
Say goodbye to your two best friends.
And I don't mean your pals
in the Winnebago.
Thank you for pressing
the self-destruct button.
This ship will self-destruct in three minutes.
What's going on?
Where the hell are we? Paris?
Thank

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