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Космические яйца

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idiot!
I said across her nose, not up it!
Sorry, sir. Doing my best.
- Who made that man a gunner?
- I did, sir.
He's my cousin.
- Who is he?
- He's an Asshole, sir.
- I know that! What's his name?
- That is his name, sir. Major Asshole.
- And his cousin?
- An Asshole, too. Gunner Phillip Asshole.
How many Assholes
we got on this ship anyhow?
Yo!
I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes.
Keep firing, Assholes!
Hurry, Daddy! Hurry!
There are laser blasts all around us!
I'm scared.
King Roland to Lone Starr!
King Roland to Lone Starr! Are you there?
Lone Starr, you've got to help me. My
daughter's being attacked by Spaceballs.
Spaceballs? Forget it. Too dangerous.
Besides, I'm already numero uno
on Dark Helmet's hit list.
Look, Your Highness,
it's not that we're afraid.
It's just that we've got this thing
about death. It's not us.
You're the only ones that can save her!
I'll give you anything!
Did you hear me? Anything!
- Anything?
- Yes, anything!
- OK, we'll do it for... a million.
- A million!
Oh, you're starting to fade,
Your Highness.
All right, I'll pay it. Only find her, save her.
All right, King. You just made a deal.
One princess for one million space bucks.
- What's she driving?
- A brand-new white Mercedes 2001
SEL limited edition.
Moonroof, all-leather interior.
I got it at a good price. I paid cash.
My cousin Prince Murray has
a dealership. He was very nice to me.
We get the idea.
Where was she last seen?
- She was just passing Jupiter Two.
- We'll find her.
Please, bring her back safely!
And if it's at all possible,
try to save the car.
One million space bucks!
We can pay off Pizza!
Gimme paw!
What's happening?
What's that glow?
- We're not moving.
- Oh, we're moving all right.
Backwards!
There's our princess. She's got company.
Oh, no. Spaceballs. And they've
got her in their magnetic beam.
Oh, well, we're too late.
I'll just reverse and we'll go.
Barf! No. Bad.
Why are we risking our lives
for a princess? I know we need money...
Listen!
We're not just doing this for money.
We're doing it for a shitload of money!
Oh, you're right.
And when you're right, you're right.
And you're always right.
OK, we save her, but how?
They're gonna spot us on their radar.
- Uh-uh.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh-uh.
- Uh-huh.
Uh-uh, not if we jam it.
Aha! You're right.
- Down scope!
- Down scope.
Radar about to be
jammed.
Sh...
...it!
Sir?.
- What is it?
- Can I talk to you for a moment, sir?.
- Well?
- Trouble with the radar, sir.
You don't need that, Private. What is it?
Trouble with the radar, sir.
- What is it?!
- Trouble with the radar.
- What's wrong?
- I've lost the bleeps, sweeps and creeps.
- The what?
- The what?
You know. The bleeps:
The sweeps:
And the creeps:
That's not all he's lost.
Sir. The radar, sir. It appears to be
jammed!
Jammed.
Raspberry.
There is only one man
who would dare give me the raspberry.
Lone Starr!
- What was that?
- Never mind that. What was that?
Hi.
- Who are you?
- Barf.
Not in here, mister. This is a Mercedes.
No, that's my name. Barf.
Barf? What are you?
I'm a mog. Half man, half dog.
I'm my own best friend.
What do you want?
Your father hired Lone Starr and me
to save you. We gotta go.
- Good. Quick. Hurry. Follow the dog.
- Mog. I'm a mog.
Wait. What about my matched luggage?
Hey, stop looking up my can.
Sorry.
Checking in?
What the hell is all that?
Her Royal Highness's matched luggage!
What?
Her Royal Highness's matched luggage.
Oh, matched luggage, huh? What's
she think this is, a Princess Cruise?
- Well, she wouldn't go without it.
- Oh, yeah?
Now hear this! The minute we get
outta here the first thing we do is
dump the matched luggage!
Who was that?
Now you hear this, whoever you are.
You will not touch that luggage.
And, furthermore,
I want this pigsty cleaned up.
I will not be rescued in such filth.
Listen! On this ship,
I don't take orders, I give '
Космические яйца Космические яйца

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