never address me as "you".
You will call me "Your Royal Highness"!
You are a royal pain in the...
- Whoa! Hold it. Time.
- What?
May I make a suggestion? Any minute
the Spaceballs will make a U-turn,
head back this way
and make us all dead.
He's right. Let's go.
Wait. My things.
Now, listen, you royal...
...Highness.
Take only what you need to survive.
Please, slow down.
I'm getting sand up my gears.
Gee, I hope she didn't forget anything.
All right, wait a minute, Barf. Put it down.
- What the hell's in this thing?
- I dunno.
What's this?
I said take only what you need to survive.
It's my industrial-strength hair dryer.
And I can't live without it!
OK, Princess, that's it.
The fairy tale is over.
Welcome to real life.
You want this hot-air machine,
you carry it.
You pick that up.
You pick that up.
How dare you, you insolent peasant!
Nobody talks to me that way. Nobody!
Nobody!
Well, what have we got here?
Will you look at her?
Those flashing eyes, those
flushed cheeks, those trembling lips.
You know something, Princess?
You are ugly when you're angry.
- Uh-oh.
- That's it.
- You and your dog are...
- Please, please,
total humans, droids, if I may.
It'll be dark soon,
so I suggest we find a place to camp.
Come, darling.
- See? It's lighter.
- Oh, yeah. This is the best.
I could have carried two or three of these.
Have you found them yet?
No, Lord Helmet.
They're still not on the scanner.
Well, keep looking for them.
Pardon me, sir. I have an idea.
Corporal, get me the video cassette
of Spaceballs: The Movie.
Yes, sir.
The Producers, Blazing Saddles,
Young Frankenstein...
- Colonel Sandurz, may I speak with you?
- Yes, sir.
How can there be a cassette
of the movie? We're still making it!
True, sir. But there's been a breakthrough
in home-video marketing.
- There has?
- Yes. Instant cassettes.
They're out in stores
before the movie is finished.
- Nah!
- Here it is, sir.
- Spaceballs.
- Good work, Corporal. Punch it up.
- Prepare to fast-forward.
- Preparing to fast-forward.
- Fast-forward!
- Fast-forwarding, sir.
No, no, no, go past this. Past this part.
In fact, never play this again.
Try here. Stop.
What the hell am I looking at?
When does this happen in the movie?
Now. You're looking at now. Everything
that happens now is happening now.
- And then?
- We passed then.
- When?
- Just now. We're at now, now.
- Go back to then.
- When?
- Now.
- Now?
- Now!
- I can't. We missed it.
- When?
- Just now.
- When will then be now?
- Soon.
- How soon?
- Sir, we've identified their location.
- Where?
- The moon of Vega.
- Prepare for our arrival.
- When?
- 1900 hours.
- By tomorrow they'll be our prisoners.
Who?!
- No, thank you. I'm perfectly all right.
- Take it. It's freezing.
If you insist.
- Won't you be cold?
- Nah, cold never bothers me.
I can't seem to find Druidia.
It's right there.
- Where?
- There. It's that bright blue one. See?
Oh, yeah, but it's so far a...
...away.
Don't worry. I'll get you there.
- Which one's yours?
- Who knows?
- You don't know where you're from?
- No. I was found outside a monastery.
- Monastery? Where?
- Somewhere in the Ford Galaxy.
Didn't the monks say
who your parents were?
They couldn't. They took a vow of silence.
All I got was this. It was around my neck.
- What is it?
- I don't know.
I've taken it to every wise man in the
universe. Nobody can tell me what it says.
It's beautiful.
You know, I...
It's beautiful.
So, how come you ran away
from your wedding?
Well, if you must know,
I wasn't in love with the groom.
- Why were you gonna marry him?
- Because!
I'm a princess
and I have to marry a prince.
Ah! And he doesn't do it for you, huh?
No, he doesn't do it for me.
I really must go back.
I shouldn't have run away.
I realise now that love
is one luxury a princess cannot afford.
You're probably right.
I know now