you know,
I'll take shop.
It'll be such
an easy way to maintain
my grade point average.
Why'd you think
it'd be easy?
Have you seen some of the dopes
that take shop?
I take shop.
You must be a fuckin'idiot.
I'm a fuckin' idiot
'cause I can't make a lamp?
No, you're a genius 'cause
you can't make a lamp.
What do you know
about trigonometry?
I could care less
about trigonometry.
Bender, did you know
without trigonometry,
there'd be no engineering?
Without lamps,
there'd be no light.
Okay, so neither one of you
is any better than the other one.
I can write with my toes.
I can also eat,
brush my teeth...
With your feet?
- Play "Heart And Soul" on the piano.
- I can make spaghetti.
What can you do?
I can, uh, tape
all of your buns together.
I wanna see
what Claire can do.
- I can't do anything.
- Everybody can do something.
There's one thing I can do.
- No, forget it.
It's way too embarrassing.
- You ever seen Wild Kingdom?
That guy's been doing
that show for 30 years.
Okay. But you have to swear
to God you won't laugh.
[Scoffs]
Okay.
I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.
[Applause]
Yea.!
All right. That's great!
Where'd you learn to do that?
Camp.
Seventh grade.
[Slow Clapping]
That was great, Claire.
My image of you
is totally blown.
You're a shit.
Don't do that to her. You swore
to God you wouldn't laugh.
- Am I laughing?
- You fuckin' prick!
What do you care
what I think anyway?
I don't even count,
right?
I could disappear forever
and it wouldn't make any difference.
I may as well not even exist
at this school, remember?
And you...
don't like me anyway.
You know, I have
just as many feelings
as you do...
and it hurts just as much
when somebody steps
all over them.
[Bender]
God, you're so pathetic.
Don't you ever,
ever compare yourself to me, okay?
You got everything,
and I got shit.
Fuckin'Rapunzel, right?
School would probably shut down
if you didn't show up.
Queenie isn't here.
I like those earrings,
Claire.
Shut up.
Are those real diamonds,
Claire?
Shut up!
I bet they are.
Did you work for the money...
Shut your mouth!
For those earrings?
Or did your daddy
buy those for you?
Shut up!
I bet he bought those
for you.
I bet those were
a Christmas gift, right?
You know what I got
for Christmas this year?
It was a banner fucking year
at the old Bender family.
I got a carton of cigarettes.
The old man grabbed me and said,
"Hey, smoke up, Johnny."
Okay, so go home
and cry to your daddy.
Don't cry here, okay?
[Claire Sniffling]
My God, are we gonna
be like our parents?
Not me.
Ever.
It's unavoidable.
It just happens.
[Claire]
What happens?
When you grow up,
your heart dies.
- Who cares?
- I care.
[Brian]
Um, I was just thinking,
I mean...
I know it's kind of a weird time,
but I was just wondering, um...
what is going to happen
to us on Monday...
when we're all
together again?
I mean, I consider
you guys my friends.
- I'm not wrong, am I?
- No.
So... So on Monday,
what happens?
Are we still friends,
you mean?
- If we're friends now, that is.
- Yeah.
- Do you want the truth?
- Yeah, I want the truth.
[Sighs]
I don't think so.
- With all of us or justJohn?
- With all of you.
That's a real nice
attitude, Claire.
Oh, be honest, Andy.
If Brian came walking up to you
in the hall on Monday,
what would you do?
I mean, picture this.
You're there with all the sports.
You know exactly what you'd do.
You'd say hi to him,
and when he left...
you'd cut him all up
so your friends wouldn't

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