It'll be anarchy.
- Okay, watch the magazines.
- [ Bender ] It's out of my hands.
That's very clever, sir...
but what if there's a fire?
I think violating fire codes...
and endangering the lives
of children would be unwise...
at this juncture
in your career, sir.
What are you doing?
get this out, for god's sake.
- What's the matter with you?
- The school's equipped with fire exits.
- Show Dick some respect.
- Let's go.
get in your seat.
I expected more
from a varsity letterman.
You're not fooling anybody, Bender.
The next screw that
falls out will be you.
Eat my shorts.
What was that?
Eat...
my...
shorts.
You just bought
another Saturday, mister.
Oh, I'm crushed.
- One more right there.
- I'm free the next Saturday.
- Beyond that, I'll check my calendar.
- good! It's gonna be filled.
We'll keep going.
You want another one?
Say the word. Just say it.
Instead of going to prison,
you'll come here.
- Are you through?
- No.
- I'm doing society a favor.
- So?
That's another!
I've got you the rest of your life
if you don't watch it.
- You want another?
- Yes.
You got it!
That's another one, pal.
Cut it out!
- Stop.
- You through?
- Not even close, bud.
- good!
- You got one more.
- You really think I give a shit?
Another.
- You through?
- How many is that?
That's seven including the first one
when you asked...
whether Barry Manilow knew
he raided his closet.
- Now it's eight. Stay out of it.
- Sir, it's seven.
Shut up, peewee.
You're mine, Bender.
For two months, I got you.
I got you.
What can I say?
I'm thrilled.
That's exactly what you
want them to believe.
You know something?
You should spend more time
doing something with yourself...
and less time trying
to impress people.
Might be better off.
Right, that's it!
I'll be outside those doors.
The next time I have to come in here,
I'm cracking skulls.
Fuck you!
Fuck.
Wake up!
Who has to go to the lavatory?
That's real intelligent.
You're right.
It's wrong to destroy literature.
It's such fun to read.
And...
"Molay" really pumps my 'nads.
Moliere.
I love his work.
Big deal.
Nothing to do,
locked in a vacancy.
Ah, speak for yourself.
You think I'd speak for you?
I don't know your language.
Hey...
you grounded tonight?
I don't know. My mom said I was,
but my dad said to blow her off.
There's a big party at Stubby's.
Parents are in Europe.
- It should be pretty wild.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Are you going to go?
- I doubt it.
How come?
If I disobey my mother,
it's because my father says it's okay.
It's like this whole monster deal.
It's endless and a total drag.
- Any minute, divorce.
- Who do you like better?
- What?
- You like your old man better?
- They're both screwed.
- I mean if you had to choose.
I don't know.
I'd probably go live
with my brother.
I don't think either one
gives a shit about me.
They use me to get back
at each other.
Ha!
Shut up!
- You're feeling sorry for yourself.
- If I didn't, nobody else would.
You're breaking my heart.
- Sporto?
- What?
You get along with your parents?
If I say yes,
I'm an idiot, right?
You're an idiot anyway...
but if you say yes,
you're a liar too.
You know something, man?
If we weren't in school right now,
I'd waste you.
Can you hear this?
You want me to turn it up?
Hey, fellas, I mean--
I don't like my parents, either.
I mean, I don't--
I mean, I don't get along
with them when...
their idea of parental compassion
is just, you know...
wacko, you know?
- Dork.
- Yeah?
You are a parent's wet dream, okay?
That's the problem.
Look, I can see you're getting
all bunged up...
for them making you wear
these clothes...
but, face it,
you're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweeby.
What would you do if you weren't out
making yourself a better citizen?
Why do you have to
insult everybody?
I'm being honest, asshole.
I would expect you
to know the difference.
- Well, he's got a name.
- Yeah?
Yeah. What's