RUSTY: Audrey, you're next.
No way, Jose!
What's the problem?
I had to sit next to Aunt Edna last time.
She smells like mothballs!
It's her turn.
For your information,
Rusty slept in his underpants last night!
Easy, kids! Stop it!
Everyone into the car,
the boat leaves in two minutes.
Perhaps, you don't want to see
the second-largest ball of twine on earth.
Which is only four short hours away.
Sweetheart, do you hear that rattle?
Where is it coming from?
Beats the heck out of me.
I've been looking for it since we left.
It's driving me crazy!
Dad, check it out behind you.
Oh, shoot!
Now what have we done?
Will you hold my purse?
Just hold my purse!
Hello, Officer. What's the problem?
Get out of the car!
I don't think I was speeding.
Was I weaving?
Shut your mouth, sir!
If I wasrt in uniform, I'd split your skull
with the butt of this revolver...
...faster than you could say,
"Police brutality."
Officer, whatever it is I've done,
I'm sure I can explain.
Explain this, you son of a bitch.
Oh, my God!
Do you know what the penalty
for animal cruelty is in this state?
No, sir.
It's probably pretty stiff!
You can't think I'd do this on purpose?
I tied him to the rear bumper
when I was packing the car.
It was very confusing, I must've forgotten.
I'm sorry. I feel terrible.
How do you think that little dog feels?
I told you I was sorry.
It really was an accident.
COP: I guess I can buy that, sir.
But it is a shame.
I had a pooch like that when I was a kid.
Poor little guy.
He probably kept up with you
for a mile or so.
Tough little mutt.
EDNA: I was afraid you'd get
pulled over, Clark.
You've been exceeding the speed limit
for thousands of miles!
Dad wasrt speeding.
The cop stopped us because Dad...
He was speeding, Rusty!
RUSTY: No, he wasrt, Mom.
Listen to your mother! I was speeding.
I was driving like a maniac.
We can all be grateful
that this man stopped us!
- You see, a car...
- Here's the leash.
I'll go back to get the rest
of the carcass off the road.
Thank you, Officer.
Have a nice day.
Is this your idea of a good restaurant?
Dog killer!
ELLEN: I'm sure the food is just fine.
CLARK: I'll take that.
CLARK: Thank you.
Oh, kids!
Waitress!
"I've had some lonely nlghts
"And I'll admlt I crled sometlmes
"'Cause you were out of my Ilfe
"But then you called my name
"And you came back agaln
"I feel so Insplred
"Klsslng your Ilps of flre
"Llttle boy sweet, Ilttle boy sweet
"Sweet Ilttle boy of mlne"
What happened?
ELLEN: What happened to your hair?
You're sweating!
Are you blushing?
Don't be silly.
ELLEN: Are you all right, Clark?
Hell, yes. I'm fine! I'm having a ball!
Come on, honey, look at the mountains,
breathe the air!
Put on a happy face for me.
I guess there's not much more
that can happen to us.
I think the worst is behind us.
ELLEN: Clark, I need my vanity case.
We have to go back and look for it.
All my credit cards are in it.
Honey, one: I've already called the bank
and reported the loss.
B: We'll never find it when we don't know
where it fell off.
Three: I've got my credit cards...
...and we've still got plenty of cash.
No, we don't. You gave $500 to Eddie...
...and everything has cost twice
as much as you figured out.
There's nothing in that luggage
that can't be replaced.
Except for your diaphragm.
We can always cash a check
down the road.
Don't you trust me?
As long as you don't tie me
to the rear bumper.
That hurt.
ELLEN: I thlnk we're lost.
CLARK: We're not lost!
Would you please let me do the drlvlng.
ELLEN: I don't thlnk you'll flndthe Grand Canyon on thls road.
CLARK: Jesus, It's only the blggestgoddamn hole In the world!
EDNA: Clark, watch your language!
CLARK: Make that the second-blggest.
Dad, I haven't seen a car for an hour!
Shut up, Audrey!
Dad knows where he's going.
Thank you.
You're lost!
I saw some detour signs!
CLARK: I didn't see any.
I saw them when you and Mom
were