Personal matter.
Well, nobody notified this office
of anything!
Well, I'm notifying you.
LASKY: I'll need more than that, sir.
CLARK: Okay.
How's this?
[Lasky gasps and whimpers]
Clark...
Have you lost your mind?
Where did you get that?
At the sporting goods store.
You listen to me, fat ass.
You do what I say and there won't
be any problems, okay?
We drove 2,460 miles,
just for a little Roy Walley entertainment.
The Moose says you're closed.
I say you're open.
We're not really violent people.
This is our first gun.
No, it isn't.
What's going on here?
You! Freeze! Freeze!
CLARK: Sit! Sit!
CLARK: Lie down! Let's go, lie down!
Roll over!
CLARK: Stay!
Okay! Let's ride! Let's ride! Come on!
CLARK: Stay!
[Fast-paced, dramatic instrumental music,
background]
[Lasky hollers]
LASKY: This is scary, isn't it?
You boys and girls make sure...
...you keep your hands
on the handlebars at all times.
We don't want any accidents!
Is that a real gun, Mom?
I don't know. But when this is all over...
...your father may be going away
for a little while.
Boy, I sure am bushed!
Have you had enough yet, sir?
What do you mean "bushed?"
Where are the big rides? The big ones?
[Fanfare music, background]
CLARK: Let's go. Get in the front.
Come on.
Has your father ever killed anyone before?
Just a dog.
Oh, and my Aunt Edna.
Hey! You can't prove that, Rusty.
[Lasky sighs]
Rusty? May I call you Rusty?
I had a bad experience
on this ride once before.
What happened?
I threw up.
[Fast-paced, suspenseful instrumental
music, background]
[Roller coaster train rattles]
Don't do that again!
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
[Audrey screams]
ELLEN: [Screams] Oh, shit!
[All scream]
[Lasky screams]
[All scream]
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
[All scream]
[Upbeat amusement park music,
background]
[Tires screech]
[Fast-paced, dramatic instrumental music,
background]
[Commands yelled out]
[Upbeat amusement park music,
background]
[Fast-paced, dramatic instrumental music,
background]
CLARK: Goodie, goodie, goodie!
Loop-D-Loop!
Come on, get in there. Let's go.
LASKY: Please, don't push!
CLARK: Come on, Audrey.
Isn't this fun, honey?
That's not a real gun, is it, Clark?
What? Are you kidding?
This is a Magnum P. I!
It's a BB gun!
Don't try me. I could put an eye out
with this.
You couldn't break the skin with that.
It could! It could break the skin.
It could lodge under the skin
and cause a bad infection.
That's an old wives' tale, Clark! I'm telling.
[Gun trigger clicks, Lasky groans]
Clark!
See, I told you! I warned you!
If you wrecked these pants,
you'll pay for them!
Yeah, I'll pay for 'em. You'll pay for 'em.
LASKY: Why did you shoot me?
CLARK: It's a BB gun! I told you so!
LASKY: It hurt!
CLARK: What do you want?
LASKY: Why did you shoot me?
CLARK: You tried to run away!
LASKY: I wasrt going anywhere!
CLARK: I thought you were!
[Fast-paced, suspenseful instrumental
music, background]
[Lasky screams]
[All scream]
[Upbeat instrumental music, background]
[All talking and laughing]
Freeze!
[Lasky gasps]
CLARK: Don't shoot!
SWAT LEADER: You, out!
SWAT LEADER: Hands behind your heads!
Spread your legs apart!
Move up against the wall!
You two, over there!
It's just a BB gun!
You are all under arrest.
You have the rlght to remaln sllent.
Watch your hands, mister!
WALLEY: How many are there?
A lot of them?
WALLEY: Whatever they want,
we'll pay 'em! We'll pay 'em!
Tell me, what's going on?
Everything's under control, sir.
They're terrorists!
Where?
- There!
- Them?
He treated me like a dog!
He humiliated me!
What'd he do with your dog?
He kidnapped me, but I want to tell you...
...I had a great time.
It's the most fantastic time I've ever had!
I like the part where you go way up high...
I'm glad you liked it.
Now, what's happening?
That's Roy Walley, honey!
I'm Russ Lasky. I met you
at the summer picnic last