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Как я съел собаку

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possible to understand them,
they must be understood...
and it will be better for everybody to understand them because...
it's not hard to understand them.
Sometime they...
sometime they had joind their military school.
You can imagine, they joined their military school and saw:
this is life.
In this life I will be cadet for five years,
then I will be lieutenant, then senior lieutenant,
then captain-lieutenant, then 3rd grade captain,
then 2nd grade, then 1rd grade,
then, if I'm lucky and in good healyh, I'll become rear-admiral,
then vice-admiral, and then,
if I'm in good health and lucky one more time,
I will become totally admiral.
Then I will be grey-haired, pleasant and nice.
But now I can't do so, sorry.
That's because for the present he...
is senior lieutenant and he is standing of cold floor...
in some garrison dormitory in some garrison town,
he's washing himself, it's not cold water
flowing from faucet, it is ice cold water
and there is small, round mirror with a crack
and in this mirror there is no sign of admiral,
there is senior lieutenant.
And this senior lieutenant shaves himself with cheap razor...
meanwhile, it's not that he thinks about, he dreams there will be...
moreover, he simply sees...
he sees how there will come wonderful times,
there will be ships the likes of which are not yet built,
and there will always be good weather,
there will be blue sky with small clouds, there will be strong, yet warm wind,
and this warm wind is needed for flags to...
He will be entering the deck of his flagship
and wonderful deckhands will be expecting him.
He'll approach first one...what's the difference? They're all wonderful!
[he'll] tap him on his shoulder and ask: how's the sevice, sonny?
That [deckhand] will answer nothing. He's wonderful deckhand,
how could he answer?
But it will be pleasant for deckhand,
and admiral will be feeling fine.
Meanwile, he's finished shaving. He takes cheap cologne...
Then he puts on all senior lieutenatn's [clothes].
Puts on mariner's hat.
Goes out on the street.
Wind is strong and very cold there.
He goes...and wind blows all over shaven and cologned [face]...
Women won't understand this.
Nightmare.
He's going like this...
holding mariner's hat.
And there are we expecting him.
He arrived...he arrived at sevice,
somewhere there we are standing, among "we" I am standing somewhere.
He arrived...
lifting up his eyes...
That's because he definitely didn't want to see this.
Because we are standing there, I am standing there.
Very real. Very.
As soon as he saw me he immediately understood
nothing of what he had dreamt up will become true.
Who's to blame?
Me.
Why?
Because I am.
I am real and there's nothing to do about it.
I felt this guilt before him
because nothing will work out for him
because I am like this.
I am very real.
That's why everything was ritual in Russian Island.
Everything. Everything was brought to state of ritual.
Of course, there was practical core in every ritual,
but it's boring to talk about that. The main thing was beauty.
Beauty was needed.
And most beautiful, powerful ritual...
was ritual ????
There was practial core in this ritual but that's boring to talk about,
there was much more beauty.
This ritual was very important, it was mass [ritual],
it was performed the same way in every season, in every weather.
Yes, here it's needed to tell what conditions were required
to participate in this ritual.
There were not many condition, three (as minimum).
First: it was needed to be born a boy in our state.
Second: to become eighteen years of age.
Third: to get on Russian Island
and you're participant of ritual by default!
By default.
How was it done?
It was done like this:
6:00 am sharp national anthem was played loud on radio.
It meant: time to get up.
We got up very fast. Uniform in every season and every weather
was the same:
blue pants, boots and mariner's cap.
We had pants
Как я съел собаку Как я съел собаку

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